Martini Mama

Happy 3rd Birthday, Xavier

2011-02-14T22:51:00.000-05:00

I know I have not been keeping up with blogging, life has been busy...which means I should be blogging more since I have a bazillion things going on....I promise I will be get back into it. I am really trying to make a schedule.

Let me start off by asking this question.

When do Birthdays for our little ones get easier? Do they ever?

My Xavier is turning 3 today and every time I think about it I cry. I think this is harder for me then his 1st Birthday. On his first Birthday I did not have to think about sending him to preschool, him leaving his mommy for the day...I just got to smother him with kisses...and him not wiping them off after wards. Do I miss that little boy? Yes. Am I proud of the little man he is growing up to be? Yes. I just wish I knew how to find that common middle ground as a mother so I can be happy that his Birthday is today, rather then sad. I LOVE YOU XAVIER!!!!

3 year old with an iPod touch? hmmm.....

2011-01-25T23:47:00.000-05:00

Xavier is going to be turning 3 this year. Wow, I have a month of the terrible 2's before we get into the terrifying 3's. Lucky me, he has been giving me a preview. I just am so excited to see the main show! (shutter) Andrew and I have been debating what to get this little monster (seriously he isn't that bad...just has moments) for his birthday. Let me go back a few months...

He has always done good with video game systems. He takes after his dad....he loves them. Of course we do not let him play too much, he is limited, but he does like them. He was using our old Nintendo DS's then each one slowly broke. These were the very first models, and he took care of them, they broke from ware and tare. No biggie. For Christmas we got him a Leapster Explorer. He loves it...plays with it a lot...and I hooked it up to the computer and he really is learning from it. Now the hard part. He is obsessed with our iPhones. I never have mine during the day, he loves it. He has his own folder of toddler learning games and of course I threw in some Sonic and Angry Birds in there for him. He really likes his flash cards and is always going through telling me what everything is. Problem...I never have my phone. I miss calls, texts....everything....why...because he knows to hit "ignore" and everything goes away. Andrew and I have been talking for awhile and we are thinking for his 3rd Birthday to get him a *whisper* iPod touch!

We tell this to some people and they look at us as if we are crazy and we have 3 heads. We tell this to other people and they think it is a super idea. I get the "he is going to expect gifts like that every year" and I get the "he is going to break it." Seriously, the kid takes care of his stuff. He will throw his action figures, but when it comes to electronics and his games he means business. Then I think, he is our one and only child. Ever. Why not give him things? We have the money to do it, why not? It isn't like he is going to have full range of stuff on there and I am just going to let him go wild. He would still be limited and mommy and daddy would be the only ones with the password to get him new games.

Thoughts? Is he too young to have one of these? Are we out of our minds? I need feedback, because I have no other ideas on what to get this boy for his 3rd birthday!

Combining blogs/making a website.

2011-01-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

I feel like such a horrible blogger, I really do. I love blogging...I love logging pictures of my family, and I love bitching about things that I need to get off my chest. The problem? I never have time to do it. I look up to all these mommy bloggers that have these wonderful stories and funny sites. They always have time to sit down and write. I have one question for everyone...HOW? I have another blog. I have been updating that one more because my weight loss is coming along well (almost down 50lbs) so I have been over there blogging like crazy. I really miss my mommy blog. I would love to make a website that I can have both....a blog and website for mommies that are needing a martini and want to lose weight. I am going to do it. YES YOU READ CORRECTLY. I have soo many ideas and things that I want to share. The problem...I do not even know where to start. I NEED HELP!

SOO....everyone that has their own URL and website and all that fun junk, I need help. Please give me your advice, the cheap places to go, and anything else you want to tell me. Please share all your lovely little secrets because this is something that I want to make a hobby and fun for me since I love love love writing. I have ideas mama's but I do not know where to start. I would love some advice.

Thank you ladies.

Now back to studying ....I swear this is all I do anymore! :)

Christmas is almost here!

2010-12-21T11:21:00.000-05:00

Christmas is only 3 days away....well Christmas Eve. I count Christmas as a 2 day holiday just because we do so much between those 2 days. This is so exciting for me this year. Xavier knows what is going on, he knows about Santa, he went to sit on Santa's lap, he told him everything he wanted and Santa told him what he needed to do in the next few days to help mommy and daddy. It is just exciting. Xavier helped with the tree, he is soo proud of his Christmas tree. He runs downstairs every morning and flip the switch to turn it on. I love this time of year. I seriously wish I could skip over the next 2 days to get to Christmas Eve.

Our tradition is to go over to my inlaws for Christmas Eve. Everyone gathers over there for little snacks and appetizers and just enjoy everyone's company. Then we come home, get the boy to bed, I clean up the living room and put presents out. The next morning I get up and get ready (early before everyone wakes up) that way I am ready for our busy day. When my hubby and Xavier wake up PRESENTS. Then we go back to my inlaws to exchange gifts, then off to my mom and dads! EEK! I just can't even write about it without getting so excited.

What is everyone else doing for Christmas? Anyone have any fun traditions? Tell them! I love to hear about everyone's holidays!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

House of Sickness....please go away!

2010-12-14T14:10:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning to hearing the little one puking in his bed. I just knew right then and there it was going to be a long day. I got him in the shower everything cleaned up and made him a bed on the couch. I put down tons of blankets so if he misses his "bucket" nothing will get on the couch. Well, we both fell asleep...no more pukies....then when he woke up he puked again (thank goodness in the bucket). Now he keeps insisting he wants meatballs. I told him he has another thing coming, it is crackers, pretzels, and toast all day....and of course liquids. I am not cleaning up anything else other then that. He has kept everything down so far, but I still do not trust it.

So as I sit here and watch him, getting ready to run to catch things in the "bucket" haha....I am trying to make a list of other stuff I need for last minute Christmas shopping. I need to get to Target just for some odds and ends. Like little things to put in with gifts, and stuff like that. I feel bad because my dad and Andrew's step dad got little gifts, so I want to get them like some mixed nuts or something to go with it. We put more money towards "Santa" this year because Xavier really understands and is excited. Now we have to be very careful with our money. I can not wait until income tax time comes that way we will have money in savings again to fall back on. This always ends up being our "short" time of year and it drives me crazy since this is when I need the money money. I do not know why I let this happen every year. This year we are really short though, it is making me sick and crazy. We will get through though. I got this. I hope. HA!

Other then all this stress I have been doing good with my new tummy. Nothing wants to stay in it the past few days, but other then that I have been doing good. I have lost like 40 some pounds, so I feel good. I am kinda stalling this week with it but I think it is because nothing will stay down except liquids. I know I need to keep eating what I can for meals, but it is easier said then done. I am sure that will be over soon enough and things will start getting back to normal and the weight will start falling off again. I went down 3 pants sizes so I know something is happening. I never thought I would be soo happy to be in size 18's again. Now onto my goal of 8's. I hope I can do it!

Okay, back to watching the boy and play "catch the puke" when I see him burp! FUN TIMES!

This mama is back!

2010-11-17T12:07:00.000-05:00

First I would like to apologize to my readers for just up and disappearing. I feel bad, but if you follow me on my weight loss blog "Fat Girl File" you will know where I went. If not, I will update everyone now!

I have mentioned in the past I was working on my 6 month journey to get Gastric Bypass surgery. Well, that is where I went. The past month or so have been crazy.I have been going to doctors appointments and getting tests done before surgery and then submitting to insurance to get the surgery approved. Let me tell you, this past month has been filled with many many many mixed emotions. Well, I had surgery on November 1st, and I am doing wonderful. I was on a liquid sugar free diet for the first 10 days, and let me tell you I was one miserable bitch. For those that do not understand this surgery, they made my stomach the size of the top of your thumb. I do not feel hunger either...so I am losing weight. Believe me, I didn't rush into this, this is life changing for me since this is now my life. I didn't do this just to be a skinny hot mama, I did this because I started having health effects from my weight. I had so many steps and am still learning, but wow do I feel better. I am already down over 20 lbs and my energy level is sky rocketing. Not only my energy level, but my sex drive is back in full force too! I do not know where it came from but my husband is one happy man! haha.

I go into greater detail on my other blog, so feel free to follow me over there, I want this blog to be my mommy blog and I do not want it to be over come with my weight story too. I would much rather blog about mommying and bitching over here. It is just more fun!

I just wanted to say that I didn't forget about this site...I love my blog and will continue to grow. I will be updating a lot more now that I am fully back and finally getting myself organized!

i will not call the insurance company....

2010-10-20T12:43:00.000-04:00

I am using my "I will not call the insurance company to see if I am approved for surgery" as a tool to get my house in order. I refuse to call them today...even though I am trying to find every excuse to call them...HA...so I am cleaning. Cleaning like a mad women to keep my mind off things. I am just going crazy.

I am seriously completely behind on school work because my mind is just not in it, it is totally in "will I be approved for surgery?" I haven't finished LAST weeks notes, let alone start this weeks...I haven't been into class at all, and I haven't even looked at what assignments are due and when! How bad is that? I know everyone is that is reading this probably thinks I am crazy for letting myself get this overcome with fears that I am going to be denied for surgery, but I just can't help it. I worked so hard for all this and I just want it that bad.

I go for my pre-op appointment on Friday. I am excited...the only thing I am not exciting about is driving there by myself. I hate the location of the hospital I am going to be in, and this is going to be the first time I drive near there completely by myself (of course with Xavier in the car...which makes me even more nervous.) I just want to hear "approved" so I can get on with my life.

I totally want to be able to relax this weekend because next weekend would be the weekend before surgery and there is no way I am doing any relaxing then. I just hope I hear something soon....really soon....before they have to commit me...then I am sure they won't approve me! AHHHH......!

Okay, Let me get on with this cleaning and hopefully I will hear something...or else I am going to have the cleanest house in the world....and that will not be a bad thing!

It has been a minute. Sorry.

2010-10-13T11:05:00.000-04:00

I feel bad that I haven't posted in a little while. After the death of Amanda I just wanted to zone out from this for awhile, really everything. I just wanted to take time to reflect on life, and I did that. I am back now...oh yes, I am back!

What has been going on this past week you might ask...well let me tell you A LOT! I will start off by complaining about school. I am behind on it, this 9 weeks is going to kick my ass. Seriously. I have a Psych class that is really hard for me. It is hard for me because I actually have to put a lot of time into the class and really think. There is a lot of work that goes into it, and it is really hard for me to find the time. I really need to start getting up earlier in the morning again and having that free time w/out the little one being up. I was doing well, but then with everything last week I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed that early. I will start tomorrow. I have to.

I had my last weigh in with my PCP this past Monday. I am scheduled for surgery on Nov. 1st. Now I just have to play the waiting game with my insurance. The surgeons office is submitting to my insurance by the end of the week. I really hate having Aetna telling me if I can get this or not....but I have to....so I am just waiting. I will not get excited until I hear them call me and tell me that I have been approved. Lets just hope that it is approved. I really just want to get this done and the new life started. A new healthy life.

That is whats has been going on with me, unfortunately I haven't been able to read my blogs that I usually am addicted to...so what has everyone else been up to? I will try to get caught up with everyone, but I have a really busy next 2 weeks and honestly I HAVE to concentrate on school. As soon as my surgery is over I will have more time to read! Soooo....leave me a note and tell me whats up! : )

Parents, hug and kiss your children today...for Amanda.

2010-10-01T13:26:00.000-04:00

Girls weekend trip tonight, something I look forward to every year. We always go to my friends cabin and to a fall festival, to the bar and drink by the fire. The weekend is a blast. I was starting to pack around 10pm last night and my phone rang, I looked down and saw it was my parents. My heart stopped because my mom is always in bed by 9pm because she gets up early for work. I answered the phone cautiously and I heard something was wrong in her voice.

"Nikki, I have some bad news" I heard on the other end. My heart stopped. "Amanda was just killed in a car accident...we do not know anything, her friend just called Uncle Mike, they haven't even got word yet."

My heart stopped. She was talking about my cousin. I did not know her well, but she is my aunts step daughter. She always spent Thanksgiving with us and holidays. She was a quiet girl, 18, I was just at her graduation party in July. According to her facebook she was quiet until she got around her friends...like every other 18 year old.

I am sick over this. Being a mother now, everything about life changes. Now I put myself in my Uncles shoes, how does one get the news that their child is dead? We are supposed to outlive our children, and now my Uncle is picking out his daughters last outfit. I can't stop crying. Why was life cut so short on this wonderful young lady? She never did anything wrong, besides the same old teenage crap that we all put our parents through. Why does God do this?

I was up late talking to my cousin Karly that I am very close to. We are so upset over this. I am at a loss for words. I just can not imagine having to bury my child. I never even thought about it.

I was never religious, ever. I never believed in a God...but the more I talked to Karly last night and tried to make sense of everything, the more I started to believe. "There is a reason everyone is on this earth" Karly said...and it really made sense...and she is right. I believe Amanda's reason for being on this earth and taken so soon is simple...to make everyone realize that life is short, to take advantage of everything, never take life for granted, and love everyone to the fullest. I believe that is what God put us on this earth for. I now am a believer in God. I really do...and I can't believe it took this young girls death to make me a believer...but maybe that was what she was put on this earth to do for me. I will never know.

I sit here and just stare at my child...I hope that his reason was not put on this earth to die at a young age. I honestly would never be able to handle it. never.

I hope Amanda is flying with the Angels today...I hope she doesn't have a care in the world....I hope she is hugging her father and making him strong. I hope she is at peace.

Amanda, even though your life was cut short, I learned a lot from all this. I thank you for that. I really do. I will never forget you, and do not worry...I will be there for your family and help them to get through this. You are going to be missed by all. I love you.

Challenge Day 30 LAST DAY!!!

2010-09-30T12:29:00.000-04:00

Day 30 — A motto or philosophy

'Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.'

My child swears...and does it well... now how do I stop it?!

2010-09-29T10:22:00.001-04:00

My child will only eat organic, never watch television, go to bed on time, and never cuss.

Can you tell that I did not have a clue what I was in for when I was pregnant? Ya, I really had no idea what happens when a child reaches toddler age. My child eats chicken nuggets like they are going out of style, watches television (not all the time..but it is always on a kid friendly station...except for 11am when The View is on) , does not have a set bedtime, and now says "oh fuck!"

Yes, I said it, my child says "oh fuck" and he is 2 1/2 years old. Let me start by telling you the first time he said it a few days ago. Me and the hubs where sitting here in the living room, the boy playing on my iPhone. I have this cat app that he likes to play, this cat repeats everything you say back in a funny voice. It was a nice quiet time and we were laughing at Xavier singing and listening to this cat repeat him....then it happened....he dropped my phone...and it happened. "ohhhhhhh fuuuuucccck" my husband and I looked at each other across the room with the "did he just say it look" then the cat went "ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuck!" That is when my husband and I lost it...laughing. Not "HAHAHAHA" laughing, discreet laughing. Then...it happened again, and that is when the iPhone went away and the talking to started. Oh yes, I wasn't happy. Not that I was happy the first time, but you know what I mean.

That was it for the night....thought it was over and done with. Yesterday I came home from the drug store and Xavier and the Hubs were playing Mario on the Wii. I sat down and was watching when Xavier fell off the world or whatever happened on mario and it happend "FUCK!" Mario went off Xavier got a butt whoopin (yes we do hit butts...don't judge) and told him "that is a bad word, do not say that blah blah blah" Then we put mario back on....and it happened again! Yes, again! That time he had time out,Mario went off for good and no T.V. for the rest of the night.

HELP ME! We have decided from now on we are just going to ignore it. I have heard from a few friends that usually helps....but what if it doesn't? I do not want my child saying this! We think he got it from a movie we had on while he was playing and we thought he wasn't paying attention...but I am not going to lie, my hubby and I slip up from time to time too. I am not going to point fingers though, the damage is done, he knows the word...and uses it good. Now the question WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~ HECK DO WE DO ABOUT IT?!

Any helpful tips you have for us, we would love....comments....criticism....let me have it....we need help in this house. We really do need help!

Challenge Day 29

2010-09-29T09:49:00.000-04:00

Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

I am going to start off by hoping that the next 365 days are good ones. I hope that everyone has good health and is happy. That is the most important thing in life...health and happiness, I do not care what anyone else says.

For me, I hope that my insurance approves me gastric bypass in Oct, so that I can go ahead with my November 1st surgery date. After that I just hope to get healthy from there on out...and of course buy some cute ass outfits for my soon to be thin self. Hey, I can be selfish once in awhile.

In Feb my son is going to turn 3. I hope that he has a good year starting preschool and I hope that this momma doesn't cry a lot on his first day...who am I kidding I am going to be a wreck.

All in all...all my readers will follow me through all these times and more, I hope to continue my blog and make a martini mama community. This might just be a free blogger blog for now...but just wait ladies....I promise to keep growing and build on it! :) Love my readers!

POST IT NOTE TUESDAY...

2010-09-28T10:35:00.000-04:00

Challenge Day 28

2010-09-28T07:35:00.001-04:00

Day 28 — A scar you have, and its story or if no scars- a tattoo & story

My scar (as you can see) came about 10 years ago from my mom and dads parrot, Sam. That parrot was great, I would tease him so much but it was a love/hate relationship. I was never mean to him, he knew that I loved him...we would always just play around. Well, Sam liked to give kisses. He would always give kisses to me and let me rub his head. One day, I do not know what I was thinking but I gave him a kiss after I put on Vanilla lip gloss. (lol) I thought it was cute because after he gave me a kiss he sorta "tasted" the vanilla gloss and I let him. He was just tasting it....I thought it was cute. I told my mom to watch and before she could even say anything...you guessed it...Sam latched on. I tried to yell which scared him and he let go (thank goodness)!!! So, that is my scar. I think it is funny and I always laugh every time that I look at it. You really can not see it unless I flatten my lips and actually point it out, but I don't care...it was given by love, well sorta! ha!

Yesterday, Sam passed away after being with our family for over 20 years. We were never sure how old Sam was when we got him...since parrots usually live for over 70 years. I just want to say that he was a great pet, and will be misses. Love ya, stinky ol'bird! :)

Challenge Day 27

2010-09-27T07:08:00.000-04:00

Day 27 — A physical feature you love

I'm watching you! HA!

I love my eyes! What I love most about them is that I have a big eyelid...I have so much space to work with when I put on eye makeup! I just love it. My eyes have always been the feature that I make sure that I play on the most. Even on days that I might not like my body and just feel down, when I put on my eye makeup I just feel so good. I can wear a lot of different colors because of my skin tone and eyes, and just with how I carry myself, I can get away with wearing crazy colors and styles. I just love it. :)

Hey...we all are aloud to love something about ourselves....what do you like about yourself?!

Challenge Day 26

2010-09-26T20:53:00.001-04:00

*FYI...some how I skipped a day or messed up somewhere...so this one is off and should of been yesterday or whatever...hahaha...I guess that is why I am martini mama! :) Tomorrow I will have it back on track with day 27!

Day 26 — A recipe

BUTTER BALLS!

1 cup soft butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cups white flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Blend together butter and sugar, add vanilla. (set aside)

Mix together flour and salt and then add to butter mixture gradually. Do not over beat.

Make round balls about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Place on cookie sheet (you can have them close because they will stay the same shape and size). Bake until firm, approximately 12-14 minutes. You want these to stay light and not burn. I usually let them get a LIGHT brown to them because it makes the outside have a nice little crunch.

Cool, then roll them in the powdered sugar! These are great, and my cousins favorite, so I always make them for her then tease her with pictures up til Christmas!

Okay....now I wanna make these!

Rules of grocery shopping....for dummies

2010-09-26T19:57:00.000-04:00

Grocery shopping was hell today. HELL I TELL YOU! I even went during the Steelers game today...in Pittsburgh that is like working on Christmas Day. Usually the stores are empty so I figured I could run in and run out. WRONG! The only thing I got was a bad mood. These are my rules that should be followed in every grocery store...if these simple life rules were followed grocery shopping would be a stress free happy place!

-Walking up an aisle and seeing something you want to look at and just STOPPING OUT OF NO WHERE.

This is something one should never ever do when in the grocery store, not unless you want your ass hit with my grocery cart. I love doing this...and I will do it to you (and make it look like a complete accident of course). When you see something that you want to stop and look at, always make sure there is no one behind you...it is just rude...and make sure you look especially if the aisle is packed and there are people coming from the opposite direction.

-Reaching over me when I am stopped and looking at something

When I am stopped and parked on the side of an aisle doing something...anything from reading a label to twittering (yes I do this) DO NOT REACH OVER ME! Did your momma not teach you the 2 words of life...

"Excuse Me" Seriously....I will move...I promise to never be a bitch to you....as long as you please use those 2 words.

-When you see a person stopped and moved out of the way (such as standing far enough back from what I am looking at so carts can get by) DO NOT stop in front of me and start looking at the same stuff I am looking at....

Ever hear of "you make a better door then you do a window" ya...what makes a person do this, I will never know. I don't know if they are that dumb or just that rude. This seems to always happen to me...I just do not get it. When it does happen I will make sure you hear about it...usually with big "sighs" or I will use the rude toned "excuse me."

-Stopping in the middle of everything for a family reunion.

This is a grocery store...I do not care if you are seeing your grandma that you haven't seen in years...do NOT NOT NOT stop and just talk in the middle of an aisle and reminisce. What gets me the most, when this happens and I politely use the 2 words of life "excuse me" I get the rude looks for interrupting their conversations. Seriously? What gets me is when this one is mixed with seeing someone and just stopping w/out looking behind you and I have to hit your ass with my cart!

okay....lets pretend all the shopping is done...let me go to the one rule of the parking lot that everyone must read....

-Waiting for someone to put their groceries in the car to get their spot!

This is the number 1 rules that a person needs to follow...if you do not follow any of my other rules...please please please follow this one. If you are that lazy to either drive around a few more times to find another spot, or just want mine because it is close...DO NOT WAIT! I love it when someone does wait (and yes, if I do see someone waiting I do move like a snail) then beeps and gets mad because when I get in the car I do not leave right away. I like to get in my car, get comfy, find a station on the radio, check my twitter/phone, and maybe even open my water and have a few sips. If I know someone is waiting these steps go slow. How can you wait for someones spot when you do not actually know if they are leaving. How do you know they are not waiting for another family member to get done in the store? I will sit in my spot as long as I have to until your lazy ass moves. IT IS MY DAMN SPOT UNTIL I MOVE.....not until you want me to move!

Live by these rules and life would be so much easier!

Challenge Day 24

2010-09-25T20:34:00.002-04:00

Day 24 — A movie no one would expect you to love

I am a chick flick, horror, and drama type girl. I can not stand comedy movies. I love stand up comedy, but funny movies are too planned for me and I can honestly sit through most without laughing at all. Don't get me wrong, I am not this "stick up the ass" type person, I just never get into the "Hangover" type of girl...unless it has to do with a lot of martini's from the night before.

There is one movie that I can watch over and over and laugh my ass off watching...my husband promised me I would never like this movie but I watched it anyway. I honestly don't know what I was thinking to even try to watch this movie, but I am happy that I did.

The winner of the movie that I LOVE yet, no one would expect me to love....

This movie can have be laughing my ass off for hours. I just watched it again the other day when it was on television and laughed soo hard on all the same parts that I usually do. There is just something about this movie that can cheer my up in a heartbeat. I am still in awe (and so is everyone else) that I love this movie, but it is the greatest comedy of all time....if I can say that about a comedy, then you know it is a good one!

Challenge Day 23

2010-09-24T20:23:00.011-04:00

Day 23 — A way in which you want to be remembered

I want to be remembered for being the best that I can be. This can be as a mother, wife, daughter, anything. I especially want to be remembered for being the best mom that I can be. My son is my everything, I love him more then words...he has his mommies heart forever.

40 + Ways to Kill Stink Bugs!

2010-09-24T00:05:00.000-04:00

"What is a stink bug?" These little bugs (I have many terrible names for them) come from China...they are annoying bugs that you can not kill. "Why can't you kill these bugs?" That is simple, you squish them, the stink is soo bad it makes you sick. Also....their funk attracts their family members, so killing one brings more. How lovely. They have become such a problem in the area that I live in, it is really starting to get gross. I never heard of these little bugs until about 2 years ago when they starting invading the area my parents live at...about a half hour away from the city where I live. Well, they come out around the end of summer and last til the first frost. Lately they have traveled more towards my area and are becoming more and more pests in the area. My mom was on the phone with me earlier this afternoon and she was complaining her and my dad could not even go out on their deck, she counted 60 and she stopped as she was on the phone with me. People around this area (Pittsburgh Pennsylvania) have now made it funny to figure out what kills these little bugs. Seriously, nothing kills them....if these things get scared, they let out their "funk" and it stinks...attracts more. Vacuum them? Then your vacuum is filled with that smell. Literally, these things are taking over slowly...! I am praying for our first frost because that usually takes care of most of them. Now...like I said there are many ways people have tried to get rid of them. I haven't tried killing too many because luckily we have only found 4 in our house this year. I thought it would be fun to list 101 ways to kill a stink bug...I am going to list all the ways I have heard that works to kill them.....please leave me any feedback that I might miss. Tomorrow at my moms I told her I am going to find something that works...we will see!

These are all gathered by word of mouth and things that I have heard....let us know if you have tried any of these ways and if they actually work! Good luck!

1. Soak a pack of cigarettes in water over night, drain and use the water...Stink bugs do not like tobacco.

2. Mint

3. Catnip (mom tried the spray catnip...didn't work)

4. Raid

5. Organic Bug and Pest killers

6. Ax Body spray

7. water mixed with dish soap

8. Bleach

9. skin so soft

10. glade

11. vinegar and conola oil mixed

12. freeze them with canned air (this one my mom did....froze the little sucker til it turned white....it walked away)

13. windex

14. marigolds

15. Racoon Urine (seriously read this somewhere...not making it up)

16. rubbing alcohol

17. mothballs

18. lysol spray

19. Neem Oil (no idea what this is)

20. gasoline (ummm this one scares me)

21. invest in a pet bat...bats eat them! (im tempted)

22. hot sauce

23. fly paper

24. hair spray

25. orange guard

26. Cats (mine will meow when they see a stink bug but wont go near it...fyi)

27. Blue Birds eat them! (might be better then a bat)

28. light traps

29. baygon

30. fire

31. suffocate them in a plastic container

32. drown them in a water bottle

33. spray bombs

34. electronic fly swatters

35. halogen lamps

36. stabbing them with pens (i do not suggest this, obviously it is going to smell)

37. cinnomin oil

38. break cleaner

39. carburetor cleaner

40. Pyganic Dust (which I have no idea what this is)

This is the list that I have come up with....if anyone has anymore ideas on how to get rid of these things everyone would love to know! Post it on here and I will keep an update!

Also...if you want to prevent these things in your house, make sure you seal up all the windows and cracks, since it is going to be getting cold they are going to try everything to get in! Good luck!

These things creep me out and scare me so much...funny stink bug story coming tomorrow!

Challenge Day 22

2010-09-23T12:02:00.000-04:00

WHOO HOO...caught up! I feel so bad, I should be doing this everyday rather then playing catch up!

Day 22 — A website

I was introduced to a new website this week, and I am addicted. It is called Swagbucks.com You can earn "swagbucks" and get great things. I admit, some of the prizes are not that great until you get a lot of points saved up, but they do have awesome gift cards...like amazon. Friends of mine have got like $15 worth of amazon gift cards within 2 weeks by just using the tool bar and searching using their search engine. Seriously...free money for using theirs? I can handle that! I am halfway to a $5 gift card to Amazon and I just started using this site 2 days ago...and wasn't on the computer all but 5 minutes yesterday, so I would have to say that is hella good. I suggest everyone that is reading this click on the link that I am about to share with you and sign up...just try it and let me know what you think. I downloaded the toolbar and whenever I go to a site I search for it using the search bar and there are many times I am awarded 12 SB's just for searching! How awesome is that! Love it! Seriously, sign up and try it...and no I am getting NOTHING for doing this post, I am posting about it just because I love it that much!

click the link below....!!!

Challenge Day 21

2010-09-22T11:43:00.017-04:00

Day 21 — Something you know you do differently than most people

I had to ask my husband this question...because I could not think of anything...and he came up with something that I never would of thought of, but is soo true! SNEEZE!

My toddler imitates me perfect. I am going to try to describe it. I wish I could add a sound clip but for once I am not sneezing today. (thank goodness) First off you will never see me cover my mouth whngen I sneeze. You might think "ew" but I hold in the spit. I taught myself how to do this years ago because the whole spitting while sneezing just grossed me out. So I got that part down...but the sound that I make with it amuses most. Its like this high pitched noise that makes everyone look at me like I am crazy if they do not know what I am doing. Sometimes it can be ear piercing, I will admit that. My son will do it after me and laugh. So I am assuming it is an amusing noise. HA!

Embarrassing story to go with it. I was in high school and I was sitting in class one day, it was quiet and I had to sneeze...easy right? Well I held it in to make this little noise but it was a ~~little~~ lot stronger then I expected so I made this blow out weirdo noise and everyone looked at me not knowing what I was doing. I was like "oops my sneeze came out" hahaha. So crazy.

So there it is...I sneeze different then most!

Ladies, Please tell me if I am being selfish...

2010-09-21T13:51:00.000-04:00

I need to have some help on something. I need words of stay at home moms to help me out. Please, because right now I feel like a horrible selfish person, and I don't know if I really should feel this way.

My husband and I were sitting here talking about money. I told him please do not spend anything until his next payday just to keep us with a cushion in our account. He mentioned to me that I should stop going out for my evening drive at night because that will save gas.

I am not sure if any other momma does this, but when my husband gets home and things are slow at the house I sneak out and go for a drive. It is just to our local Walgreens and back. I do not even get out of the car. I just blast my music and drive. It maybe takes me 20 minutes in total but that is MY TIME! It is the only time I look forward to all day to clear my head of the "mommy this" and "mommy that" which I hear all day. I sometimes want to scream because I am stuck at home 5 days a week. People wouldn't understand, they think being a stay at home mom is lovely. Sitting at home all day, but it is really the hardest thing in the world to me.

Anyway, back to my question. I was sitting here talking to my husband as he was telling me that I should stop taking my evening drive because it does waste gas. I told him that I sacrifice that extra gas which probably adds up for a few extra dollars a week for the "me" time. He told me that that "it's weird you tell me not to spend money but then you do that everyday." Seriously? I told him that is not what I mean. Am I wrong for this? Is this selfish of me? He gets going to work and coming home everyday to clear his head. I ask for 20 minutes a day to do this and I get looked at like I am out spending money when he isn't. I do not even look at my 20 minute drive as spending money. Yes, it uses gas, I am aware of that. If we were really tight with gas money I obviously wouldn't go.

What would you say if your husband said this to you? Would you get mad and feel bad? I have to go out later to get garbage bags that I forgot to pick up at the store yesterday. I now feel guilty doing this. I just want to crawl up in bed. I am so annoyed and upset right now.

Ladies...I need advice!

Challenge Day 19

2010-09-20T12:52:00.000-04:00

Day 19 — A talent of yours

A talent? Oh goodness I honestly have no clue what my talent would be? This is honestly a hard one for me to answer, but like they say "everyone is good at something."

If i had to pick my "talent" I would say I have a talent for baking. When I say baking, I mean cakes, cookies, and all the yummy stuff. I do not by any means mean cooking...because that is a whole other story that I would never in a million years call a "talent." haha. I love to bake. You can tell me something you want me to bake and I will at least try it..and almost all the time I can accomplish it. I always tell my husband I wish I could decorate good, because if I could do that I would love to make cakes and wedding cakes for a living. I just do not have the talent of drawing or decorating well. I love making Christmas cookies. This is my big thing every year. I make sure I make enough cookies for Andrew's mom because I know she never has time to bake and now since I am out of the house my mom cuts back on her baking, so I always bring stuff down to her house. I always like to try different cookies for Christmas time also. I make a list of about 8 different types of cookies and by the end of all my baking I make around 6 different kinds and run out of time! Yup, baking is 100% my talent!

Judge-mental mom...but at least I admit it.

2010-09-20T12:34:00.000-04:00

Since I have become a parent I have noticed I am very judge mental. I do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Okay, maybe I have always been judge mental, but now I think it has gotten worse. I just notice little things when I am shopping in a store or at a restaurant and think to myself "these parents need a reality check." Is it just me or are some parents just clueless on how to parent their children? I was told that when my son was born it was going to be this hard task. My friends now tell me they had no hope for me. They thought I was going to be this overprotective crazy mother that had not a clue what she was doing. They now tell me that they were wrong about that. They thought I was going to be uptight, scared to let my child breath on his/her own...but they think I am a laid back very good mom. At least this is what they tell me! haha. I like to believe them when they say that. I was scared at first when I found out I was pregnant because I never even changed a diaper in my life. After Xavier came into this world it was completely natural. It is not brain surgery on how to raise a kid if you are confident in yourself. I see some parents that are over protective, and try to make their kids perfect. It freaking drives me insane when I see this. I was at the store the other day and I was letting Xavier pick out a toy...my son is 2 1/2 and he loves action figures (especially spider man) I see nothing wrong with this at his age, he loves them...they make him happy...he is good with them...whats the biggie? Right? Anyway this little boy saw Xavier picking one out and the mom was like "no you are only 2 you are way too young to get into action figures!" Seriously? He is a boy? What do you want him to play with? I would say if he is showing interest then what is the big deal? Same with watching cartoons? Xavier loves all types of cartoons, there are some that I can not stand, but I have to let Xavier pick what he wants to watch sometimes (making sure it's not bad) and let him grow as a person. I can not see limiting him to only educational cartoons. Some cartoons will never make sense...so what...sometimes us parents watch things that do not make sense to the children? It makes us happy...and if that cartoon is going to make my son happy...so be it.

Maybe people are judging me for being too laid back, but my son is growing up good. He can count over ten, count to 10 in spanish, sing is ABC's...I would say that I am doing a pretty damn good job. Does this give me a right to judge others? I don't know. I guess everyone judges.

I just hope that little boy that was not aloud to get an action figure because he was "too young" gets one soon and whacks his mom over the head with it as hard as he can "by accident." HA.

Challenge Day 20

2010-09-20T11:38:00.001-04:00

Sorry that I have been behind, this has been a busy week for me, I will explain in an upcoming post...but I am going to get caught up on my blog challenge today. Promise.

Day 20 — A hobby of yours

I used to have many hobbies...but I found that they mostly stopped when the little monster came along. There is one hobby that I wish that I had more time to do...reading. I used to always have a book...especially when I was working. I would go to the cafe' in lunch and read for a hour as I ate lunch. It was so nice. It was like my little get away without going anywhere. That is one hobby that I wish that I could make more time for...

I can make a CPAP sexxxy!

2010-09-19T23:12:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone had a fab weekend! I had a decent weekend. Friday night me and the boy spent the night at my mom and dads. The hubby had to work overtime Saturday morning so I needed out of this house before I screamed. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house.

Saturday night was interesting. A few weeks ago I went for a sleep apnea test. I swore up and down that I didn't have it, well I have severe sleep apnea. (If you want to read more about that you can click here) Well, I had to go get fitted for my sleep apnea mask and spend the night to get my oxygen numbers that I will have to use when I sleep. Yea, you know the mask some people have to sleep with, ya that is what this hot mama has to wear. I told my husband I am the only one that is going to make this CPAP sexxxy. How true is that! Too bad they didn't come in pink? It is okay though, it is all for my gastric bypass. Hopefully after my surgery I won't have to wear it once I lose this weight. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday is my big day that I hopefully get my surgery date. I know, I said I would not turn this blog into my outlet...but I also have to mention it on here too since this is what is going on in my life.

On another note (to change the subject) I got all my homework turned in early today and got to spend a Sunday comfortable and lazy around the house without having to worry about school work. Of course I had to worry about a toddler begging for attention (lol) but I am used to that. I would much rather play with a toddler than sitting here doing school assignments....well sometimes.

Challenge Day 18

2010-09-18T20:36:00.008-04:00

Day 18 — A time when you felt passionate and alive

The time I felt the most passionate and alive is going to sound really cheesy, but it is the honest truth...the day I met my husband. It was just a perfect day and ever since our first date at Haunted Kennywood I have felt like he was the first person that knew me, and was going to get to know me. I felt like I could share anything with him, and he was the first guy that I could ever be myself around, 100%; Do not get me wrong, I was myself around other people that I have dated, but not like I could around Andrew. This feeling has never stopped. When I am around him I just feel like we can do anything together. I feel like we are the perfect pair...even though I bitch and moan....he has my heart, and will always have my heart.

Challenge Day 17

2010-09-17T20:34:00.000-04:00

Day 17 — An art piece

My #1 favorite painting...

Challenge Day 16

2010-09-16T23:16:00.000-04:00

Day 16 — A song that makes you cry

I had to think about this, because I am not a crier when it comes to songs, but there is one song that I never seem to get through without getting a little bit choked up. I think it's more now then it did before since I have a child and I could not imagine life without them. This song does not need me to say anyone other than the title, and I think everyone (or most) will agree with me.

Eric Clapton- Tears in Heaven

Vacation is needed....but I'll pass...

2010-09-16T18:34:00.000-04:00

Yes, I said it..."no thank you" to a much needed vacation. Actually, I haven't said "no" yet, but I am happy that this vacation that is being planned isn't until sometime next year. I know everyone is like "you are crazy....take a vacation if you can!" I just can't though. I keep reading about certain things that just make me want to lock up my house, and sit here, not let anyone in or out....ever. What is it that I am scared of.....BED BUGS!

I have been seeing so many things on the news lately about how hotels, stores, and even movie theaters are having trouble keeping these little things out. Every time I hear someone talking about these little fucks, yes I said it...LITTLE FUCKS....I get itchy to the thought of one of them crawling on me...let alone biting me!

Well, I saw another "bed bug" headline and of course I had to click on it. I am happy I did because they mentioned a website (and whoever made this website is a freaking genius) BED BUG REGISTRY ! You can search for a hotel that you are thinking about booking and see if they have had any bed bugs. People will post their experiences and what they saw there. Soo...this morning I sat here as I itched thinking about it, reading about Las Vegas hotels. I was curious because this is where we want to go next year for our 5th Anniversary. Some of the best hotels in Vegas have/had bed bugs. Gross. Now, before anyone corrects me, I understand that the cleanest person can get these bugs. That is why these little fucks freak me out so bad. Once you get these things, they are saying it is soo hard to get rid of them. The last thing I want to do is spend my money on a nice hotel and it have bed bugs. Okay, I could even deal because I am the bed bug inspector before I get into any bed...they would change my room....but but but....what if I take one of these home with me? That is what totally freaks me out.

I am sharing this because I am really freaked out at the thoughts of having any sort of bug in my house (minus the little spider here and there). Especially when a person gets into their nice clean bed at night and the thought of bugs living there....omg I can't even stand it! I am so happy I have some months to think about this, because I am really worried about these little creatures.

This stay at home mom gig...sooo not what I applied for!

2010-09-15T16:55:00.000-04:00

I have learned today that I am the worlds most unorganized mother on the planet. I seriously have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I am doing. I can not keep up with my messy house, I can not find time to do school work, I have no time for anything and I do not get anything accomplished all day. Really? I thought this Stay at Home Mom gig was supposed to be a breeze. I always imagined sitting in a clean house all day playing with my toddler, then having dinner on the table when my husband came home. Ummm...I never cook. I hate cooking, every time I attempt a new recipe my husband doesn't like it because I swear he hates to try anything new. I really suck at this whole thing. I don't want to say at being a wife or mom, because I am pretty darn good at those things. It is just the life part of things and managing time and ahhh....where does anyone find time to do anything?

I mopped my kitchen floor today while the boy was napping. I seriously felt like I should get a reward because it was such a chore. What did I get for it? A bruise on my ass from falling in a wet spot! Lovely. Where is my paycheck or reward? I think if I got a paycheck every week I might be motivated on doing something. Okay, maybe not...but hey it would be a nice reward.

The hubby is working overtime all week and even on Saturday. So I feel like when he comes home he should have dinner ready and come home to a ~~clean~~ semi-clean house. I just don't want him to get used to it, because this is hard. I don't want to get his expectations too high of me when we both know this is not going to last. Does that sound bad? I mean I am just telling the truth!

This stay at home mom thing is not what I applied for!

Challenge Day 15

2010-09-15T12:04:00.000-04:00

Day 15 — A person you admire

I might get a little negative feedback for this one, but I do not care about others opinions because this post is someone I admire. I am going to have to say that person would have to be Kate Gosselin. I look up and respect this mother so much. She is doing everything she can to provide for her children and it seems like everything that she does is in the interest of the children. After her divorce, it seems like she is just getting stronger! I am really looking up to her more now because she is taking the time when her children are in school to take care of herself. She is realizing as her children are getting older it is time for her to think about herself a little more. I can relate, because even though my son is only 2 I am really starting to focus on me. I am not only a mother I am a wife and I need to take care of me. I am hoping that after my surgery and with working out more and more I can get the body that Kate has...or at least close. I really do look up to her as a good example of all women and moms!

Challenge Day 14

2010-09-15T00:32:00.000-04:00

I can not believe it is already day 14 in this challenge...and I am loving it. Today's topic....

Day 14 — A vacation you would like to take

This one is easy for me, because this is a vacation I am looking forward to next year. VEGAS BABY! My husband and I went there on our honeymoon, it will be 5 years in Feb. SOO.....we are leaving the boy and going back for a WEEK! A WEEK....doing adult things without the worry of a toddler around. It is going to be heaven. It is also going to be different for me because this will be months after my surgery so I am hoping to get into a Tankini at the Pools there. We are going in April-May so it is going to be pool weather out there and I want to look cute! I can not wait for this, I know I keep saying it but my husband and I need it. We also figure this is going to be our last "alone" vacation because Xavier will be 3 this Feb also. SOO...the following year we are thinking Disney. Booooo.

Challenge Day 13

2010-09-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Day 13 — A guilty pleasure

I am getting later and later in the day with my blog posts. I feel like I need to start getting up earlier and getting my school work done before Xavier wakes up that way I have the rest of the day to clean and get everything done.

I can not believe it is day 13 of this challenge. I love it so much, it is the best, and it is making me blog everyday. Also, I am learning so much from other bloggers doing it. I might not be leaving comments (sorry) but I have been reading! I promise to try to get more comments...just blame me and my lack of time management.

Soooo guilty pleasure. This is a really hard one. I am trying to think of one that no one else knows but me...and well of course probably my husband. Hmmm. Where do I start? I have so many now that I sit here and think about it.

I will have to say my number one is Lifetime Movies. Okay, okay it might not be that shocking but the more I think about it, it is my number one guilty pleasure. My dream day would be one where it is in the high 50's, I have the living room window open so I can feel the breeze, I am curled up on the couch with THE HOUSE TO MYSELF with lifetime movies all day. I know that will never happen, not at least for another 16 years (whos counting) but I am looking forward to that day.

So...Lifetime movies is my guilty pleasure! Whats yours?

Time flies when you want to blog!

2010-09-12T23:49:00.000-04:00

Seriously have been trying to get caught up so I could blog all day, it is now 1130pm and I am just getting to it...where the hell does the time go? Someone...anyone...please tell me!

If anyone is in Pittsburgh or close by...was this not the perfect weather weekend! Andrew and I took the little one to the Pittsburgh Air Show this Saturday. What a freaking good time we had. Well, it took us 2 hours to get there (20 minute ride) and 2 hours to get home...we found out later on the news it was the highest attendance they ever had, 175,000 people in one day. Ya, explained the traffic. It seriously was not bad though, it was a nice family day. We met my mom and dad there, and Andrews mom and step dad followed us out too. "De Planes De Planes" (some of ya'll will get it) anyway, these military planes are HUGE. I can not even begin to explain. Obviously they look big when you see them, but to walk through them, I just could not get over it. I loved every minute of it. Of course I got to see my favorite plane of all...the Stealth Bomber. Oh it is soo sleek and sexy. Love it.

As you can tell I am not the best with taking pictures, but it's enough for you to get the point. Fun times.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE STEELERS TODAY! I honestly love this time of year. I can not say it enough. I love fall. It is the best. I love the cold breeze, the hoodies, the sweats, and of course Sunday football. I am just happy it is finally here. Oh thank goodness...I never thought it would get here. Goodbye heat and humidity...don't let the door hit you on the way out!

Oh, I have a school rant. This pretty much took up my whole day and I have to tell my blog, because honestly my blog is the only one/thing that listens to me...my cats are even bored with me ranting to them. I worked so hard on an internet lab today and I could not do the questions at the end. Would not let me no matter what I did. I worked for a good 4 hours on it. Yup...never could get it done. I emailed my instructor because this assignment is due, well in 15 minutes. Keep your fingers, toes, and whatever other body part(s) you can cross that it doesn't go against me. I like my 96% and I really would like it to stay that way.

Blog challenge time! Geesh I have sooo much to get caught up on!

Challenge Day 12

2010-09-12T00:02:00.007-04:00

Day 12 — A song that you want played at your wedding (or was played)

I already posted one of my favorite songs, which was Selena "Dreaming of You" which was the first dance of me and my hubby. Soo....I am going to post a song that means soo much to me. The song me and my daddy danced to. I didn't want "butterfly kisses" or any of the other ones you normally hear. I am just not the type to pick something just to pick it. I wanted all the songs to really have meaning...ya they all had some meaning...I bet not everyone knows that. The song I picked for me and my dad to dance to was the one Jessica Simpson wrote to her dad and dedicated to him on her wedding day. (at least my marriage has already lasted longer then hers did)

Jessica Simpson "You Don't Have to Let Go"

Challenge Day 11

2010-09-11T00:01:00.000-04:00

I am sorry, I have to back date because I was busy with school...but I do have to say...school comes before blogging...even though I would like it to be the other way around. Geesh! haha.

Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently

I am going to post the picture of me that I took of myself while waiting in the Air Show traffic yesterday. My son was sleep in his car seat so what else could my husband and I do to pass the time with a kid in the car? Hmmm...take pictures! :)

Ya, I think I'm cooler then you...

challenge Day 10

2010-09-10T11:53:00.000-04:00

Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago

Oh my, if only I had my scanner hooked up. I am going to have to use the only picture that I have in my photobucket that was taken over 10 years ago. Now, let me start by saying this, I didn't take this picture, but it is of me and my cousin that was taken well over 10 years ago. Wigs and all. Oh goodness I can not believe I am posting this. *hangs my head in shame*

New Obsession...and I was banned.

2010-09-10T11:46:00.001-04:00

I have this new obsession thanks to my crazy cousin. I feel weird from even sharing this obsession, but I am going to...Chat Roulette! I love it. I love not knowing who I am going to see on the other end of the computer when I hit the "next" button. I was sitting there last night because I knew my cousin was on and I was trying to find her. My husband and I were sitting here on cam laughing because half the people that came up on our computer were penis's...when when I say that...I don't even mean impressive ones, they were ones that I would not even put on screen if it was me. (lol) Then I didn't realize that people could hear me, so I was sitting there laughing and saying rude things, and then realized that there was sound. Oh was it funny.

Well, I went to log on for some chat roulette this morning and I couldn't believe it...I was temp. banned! How could this be? I wasn't naked, or doing anything weird that almost all the other people were doing. I have no idea when I am going to be aloud back on, but it better be soon because I miss it. I have this need to get on and see who else I am going to find on this cam chat whatever it is. Funny.

So, I feel bad that I haven't been on this blog. I have been doing the blogger challenge, which is fun...but I haven't been posting. I have been posting on my other blog, Fat Girl File. That is my gastric bypass blog. I don't want to bring all that over to this blog, but that is the only thing I have been thinking about. Sept. 22nd I get my surgery date, and I get to have my psych evaluation. Oh, it is just coming by soo fast, soo...if you do not see me updating over here and wanna see what is going on, just check out that blog because I am sure I am posting on one or the other.

I have to go grocery shopping tonight, why is it that every time you plan on going grocery shopping you wake up in a mood that you want to kill someone and the last thing that you are thinking about is going to a packed store. All I gotta say is that they better have the car carts for my son, because that is the only thing that is going to get him through the store.

Oh and think about me tomorrow. We are taking the boy to Wings Over Pittsburgh, the big air show. My son better love going through all those big planes because we are fighting the crowds just for him!

challenge Day 9

2010-09-09T10:43:00.001-04:00

Day 9 — A photo you took

This challenge today is easy but hard. The question I have...what picture do I use? I know exactly which one I am going to choose, it is the one that brings back so many emotions....

This is the last picture I took before I went to the hospital to have the boy. I had so many emotions, scared, excited, nervous. I knew that this is the last picture I was going to take before my life changed forever. I love the way my life changed.

Challenge Day 8

2010-09-08T11:39:00.001-04:00

Day 8 — A thank you letter to someone who's changed your life

Dear Grandpa,

I know you have been gone for awhile but I want to tell you how much you taught me and how much you changed my life. You taught me all my life to be myself no matter what. To be proud of who I am and who my family was. You taught me to love myself no matter if someone else doesn't. I just want to thank you.

I know I have made decisions in my life that you might not agree with, but I know you are looking down and proud of me. I just want to thank you for making me believe that I can be strong no matter what happens. You taught me so much that I can't even begin to write. I hope you know this. I hope that you are proud of the women, wife, and mother I have become. I hope you see your great grandson and are proud of everything that I am teaching him.

I just want to say, thank you for making me believe in myself, and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself.

I will always be your "grand baby"

30 Day Blogging Challenge! Day 7

2010-09-07T12:10:00.000-04:00

Day 7 — 5 things you could not possibly live without

Okay, I know everyone is going to say their husband, kids, family, blah blah blah. Of course I can't live without them, so this is going to be 5 things besides loved ones that I can not live without. I just figure it is easier that way I can put more stuff on my list that I use daily, and then my readers can get to know me better.

I am going to count backwards from 5-1 (1 being the main thing I can not live without)

My coffee is something that I can not live without. It is the start to my mornings, every morning. I am trying to cut down....I am down to 2 BIG cups a day. I love it.

MAKEUP! Seriously, I can live without it, I have been living without it a lot more in my life since the boy came along. I do like makeup, it makes me feel soo good about myself to be able to put it on and just feel girly. If I go out, I try to wear it so I look like "me." Then again, it also feels good to go out without it. I love makeup, always have and always will. It is the best to be able to change the way you look!

Big Sunglasses....need I say more?!

My laptop! Not only for school but for blogging and anything else I do to keep my sanity during the day!

My lovely white iPhone! DUH! I love it, facebook, twitter, foursquare, ANGRY BIRDS.... I could not live without this phone. What did I do without this phone before I had it. My pictures, contacts, datebook, bills, notes, everything is in this phone....I seriously can never live without an iPhone again....ever.

challenge Day 6

2010-09-06T11:28:00.006-04:00

Day 6 — A moment you wish you could relive

I admit, I got lazy, but I am going to post this post today so I do not get behind, and of course the most important part, missing a day on this lovely challenge.

I moment I wish I could relive. This is a hard one because I do not regret in my life...nothing in my life I regret. So...there goes things I could write about. I would have to say the birth of my son.

I had a c-section with my son, his big head was stuck (lol). The best moment of my life was Andrew bringing him over for me to see for the first time...and no lie, when Xavier looked at me for the first time this little baby boy grinned/smiled at me. I couldn't believe it...that is when I started crying. I would love to relive that second. I am sure the boy just had gas...but I don't care, he smiled at me...and that is something that I will never forget!

Challenge Day 5

2010-09-05T12:49:00.000-04:00

Day 5 — A favorite quote

~*~All beings tremble before violence. All fear death, all love life. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?~*~ - Buddha

challenge Day 4

2010-09-05T00:03:00.000-04:00

Day 4 — A favorite television program

I am late on this one today....but better late then never, right? Well I would have to say my favorite television program at the moment would have to be "Big Brother." I am a huge reality tv junkie, I watch as many as I can, and I love it. Thank goodness for DVR, that is all I have to say. Big Brother has been my favorite show of the summer since season one. Honestly, I want to be on that show. That is one of my goals. I honestly think it would be the hardest thing to be away from my husband and especially my little boy. I LOVE this show. I can not stress it enough. I am going to list some of the other TV shows I watch...don't judge, I am sure this list is going to be long.

Real World
Survivor
Secret Life of an American Teenager
Pretty Little Liars (good books too)
Teen Mom
George Town Cupcakes (I want to visit there so bad and try EVERY flavor)
Iron Chef
Kate plus 8
90210
Hells Kitchen
Americas Next Top Model
Jersey Shore (shut up...lol)
Man vs. Food
Bizarre Foods

Okay that is a list that I am okay with...but honestly, I am sure there are a ton more!

Let me know if you watch any of these...I need someone to talk to about these. Oh ya, I have a weakness for Days of our Lives too! :)

Why must hubbies be so difficult?

2010-09-03T13:36:00.000-04:00

My question of the day on this Friday...Do men not listen on purpose or are they just that dumb? I mean seriously! Last night I asked my hubby to do one thing...call Comcast and get the amount due on our bill. The only thing he has to pay every month is the cell phone bill, he doesn't have to pay it, but all it requires is a text message so he just does it. That's it! I take care of everything else. Last night I forgot that our Comcast bill was due today or else it was going to be shut off (don't judge...lol) I told him to call and TALK to someone because there have been times that I used the automated and it has told me that the amount due is more then what really needs paid. I explained all this to him...and he picked up the phone as he was watching the Steeler game. The next thing I know he hangs up and gives me the amount due. I looked at him and said "You didn't talk to anyone?" He said "Ya i just used the automated system." Seriously I wanted to bang my head off the wall...I was like "did you not hear what I just said?" (and yes, I was being rude but I couldn't help it because I felt like I just looked to my left and talked to the wall. He was like "Ya I heard you but its right." I took a deep breath because by then I was going to yell. Any other time I wouldn't care, I would just pay it. Right now we are REALLY short on cash, if I do not have to spend extra money, I can't...so I don't care if it would only save us $1, I will do anything to save that $1...I can't even stress enough how broke we are. (Donations are welcome...I kid) Anyway, I told him "we have to save every freakin' penny and if you paid attention to me you would of talked to someone just to do it..." He got pissed but called back and of course just because I was being a total bitch in his eyes, the amount on the automated system was correct. It was the point. I explained what happened to my friend that happened to be online later last night and she said Comcast has done the same thing to her, the automated system requested more money then what was due, so she agreed with me that it was good he talked to someone. I do not do things the hard way on purpose...I would not make my worst enemy call and have to talk to the weirdo's at Comcast if I didn't have to...that is seriously like torture having to call there!

That is my rant. I really just wanted to scream after that. Oh, and before someone asks...the only reason I didn't call myself is because I was trying to get done in class...and I wanted to watch Jersey Shore (don't judge) at 10 and I just wanted to get things outta the way. Hey, and I take care of all the bills every month minus the cell phone, he could call this one time as a favor. Gosh, he acted like I was asking him for his right arm. I'm his wife, if I needed his right arm he should give it to me though, right? ;)

Challenge Day 3

2010-09-03T11:58:00.001-04:00

What is your favorite book?

This was a hard question to answer because there are so many good books that I have read. I really did think about this all night because I didn't want to give credit to a book/author that wasn't in my eyes "the best." I had to go to my first choice, this is an author that when someones asks me about a book, I know I can always recommend this series and I feel that I didn't point them in the wrong direction. I have been a fan of this author since she brought out her first book in her series. The winning author... Michele Martinez.

"Most Wanted" was the book that got my attention first. When you want to read a suspense filled, mystery, with a bit of love...this is the book that should come to mind. Melanie Vargas is the main character. She is a mom and ambitious New York prosecutor. She is involved in a high profile case of a burning townhouse....and inside....the burned body of a wealthy former prosecutor! I am telling you, you will not want to put this book down. Not only are you trying to figure out this murder case, you are trying to figure out what Melanie will do with her husband...it is just an all around good book. Michele writes this book and it is easy to follow and read...she caught me with this book and seriously, wait patiently for the next books!

If you read this book, please come back and tell me how you like it...and if you like it...check out the other books in this collection. I am telling you, you will be as hooked as I am.

Challenge Day 2

2010-09-02T12:01:00.000-04:00

Challenge Day 2: Favorite Movie

This is a hard one for me because I am not a movie person. I mean, I watch them but I am picky. I love lifetime movies. I know, I know, some people laugh at that. I could spend a whole day curled up on the couch watching good lifetime movies. I don't like the "love" ones, I like the ones with a lot of drama. What is my favorite Life Time movie? I would have to say the "Sex and the Single Mom" series. There are 2 movies, and I love them. I have seen them a few times.

I love murder mystery and Horror also. When I say horror movies, I like really really scary ones. The ones that when I wake up in the middle of the night and have to pee but I am too scared to get out of bed. Those are rare to watch, and I can't even think of any off the top of my head that have done that to me lately...but those are the ones that I like.

Chic Flick....those are another favorite. Some people might put these in the class of "lifetime" movies but I don't. I would have to say my favorite Chic Flick movie would have to be....hmmmm.....SEX AND THE CITY 1 & 2 OF COURSE! Do I need to say anymore?! Now those are what I am talking about when I say Chic Flick. I love to read it also. Anything that has to do with a women living in NYC or a big city....I live it out through them! HA!

Stay tune for tomorrows post....

30 Day Blogging Challenge! Day 1

2010-09-02T00:43:00.000-04:00

I decided to take Susie B. Homemaker's 30 day blog challenge!

Day 1- Favorite Song...

This is easy for me! My all time favorite song is Selena "Dreaming of You." I have always loved this song, it reminded me of all the nights staying up talking to Andrew and then finally him being all mine! We danced to it at our wedding, I get chill bumps every time I listen to it! Enjoy!

I always get into awkward situations.

2010-09-01T10:34:00.000-04:00

I need to share this story from yesterday. I wanted to write about it as soon as I got in the door but life stopped me. It was just one of those days yesterday and I was not having it....let me just say, I hate being a women once a month. Enough said.

I needed to get out of the house yesterday after the hubby got home. He told me our SUV needed gas so I volunteered to go out and get it so he wouldn't have to stop in the morning on his way to work. Seriously, I was not by any means being nice to him...I did it for 100% selfish reasons, so my ass could get out of the house. I of course had to go to the gas station the furthest away. Actually, I went there because our grocery store does fuel perks and I know I had $.35 off per gallon of gas. ANYWAY...I get there and the parking lot at this GetGo is horrible. (If anyone is in the Pittsburgh Area...it was the one in Robinson...need I say more) I pulled in to wait in the line for gas. Seriously, people do whatever they want in this lot, it is a fucking mess. So I was sitting there blocking traffic and I didn't care...don't mess with me while I am on my period. I mean, its bad enough for me to remember what side the gas tank is on.

I pull into my spot 10 minutes later and start pumping gas. This lady (upper class older women...you could just tell) yells "excuse me Hun" (that should of been my Que to ignore her in the first place...I had my big sunglasses on so I didn't have to make eye contact) BUT I did. I said "yes" She then goes to to say "How do I get to the restaurant Ditka's from here." (Right across the 4 lane high way is Ditkas) I pointed and said "its right across the street, go to this light and it is on your left" she begins to say "Well I know it is right there, is there a way to turn left into the lot" I said "I don't know, I think there may be but if not just keep going down and there is many of lots in the town center where you can turn around and then it will be on your side." OMG you would of thought I was talking Chinese. She then goes "Well I don't understand what you are saying...can I just cross traffic and pull in" I then started to get frustrated and my period hormones were telling me to go over and slap some sense into her a few times. I then said "I told you, I do not know if there is a way to cross and get in that way...I never tried it." She ROLLED HER EYES and got all huffy and puffy and asked me again. All I want to say is THANK GOODNESS FOR THE GUY NEXT TO ME. He was a short black guy and I saw he had a wife in the car that was watching this the whole time. He kept shaking his head every time she would ask me something over and over again. (Not that his color mattered, but I was setting the picture) This guy walks over and says "Dammit why don't you just move over and make her drive you there." He then continues "This women has told you over and over how to get over there, its common sense, how long have you had your license...my goodness!" She then sped off.

Seriously...if you see a place you have to get to and can not figure out how to pull in...you should not be on the road. I wish I would of taken a picture of the whole situation or at least pulled out the video. I always forget I have video on my iPhone. It would of been so fun to watch this lady over and over again.

I still want to know how she got mad at me for her ignorance. To top it off...how do I always get stuck into these situations. Please pass me a drink...

This momma blogger needs advice.

2010-08-31T11:41:00.000-04:00

I have been reading a lot of different mommy blogs lately. I have noticed a trend in them, they offer links to different giveaways. I have never linked anything from my blog because I thought it was impersonal and I didn't want to ruin my blog...but it seems like the thing to do. What is everyone's feelings about this? I am new to this blog thing...are giveaways good? How do I get started with that? I don't want that to be all my blog is...because I do my blog for me. This is my outlet to life. :) Advice is needed...so feel free to give it!

If I had a call off day today, I would use it. My cramps are through the roof, all I want to do is lay on the couch but every time I lay down the little monster jumps on me and it just makes things worse. I am not in the mood to yell...having my period does that to me. I just want quiet. I am letting him have the TV and I am just reading about blogging. I should be starting on school work but again, I just don't feel like it. Ugh.

Thanks in advance for your advice on things! :)

Sigh of relief...and no I didn't fart...

2010-08-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

If I could pick the one thing I hate the most about people, it is when they assume when you talk about something that you are mad, or jealous, or anything in between. It is completely not true. When I talk about something and I say I am not mad, I really am not mad...jealous, or anything of that nature.

Such as people being bitches and not inviting us somewhere. I personally get happy when people like this don't invite us to a place. It saves me from having to remember a lie...a lie of why I can't go. Seriously. I am not mean but there are just some things that I don't care about. Birthday parties, graduation parties, anything of that nature...especially if it is someone older that I don't like because then I have to spend our money on a gift for them. Spending money on someone that I do not like pains me. It really does. Especially right now when we are saving every penny we have because we do not know how much some future items are going to be.

It is like people do things like this to make someone feel left out, or honestly I don't even know a word because the truth of the matter is, I get excited. It is like I can breath a sigh of relief that I don't have to lie and then remember the lie for the future. I am usually an honest person, but I don't think saying "I don't want to go because I think your family is a bunch of fake, cheap, ugly, useless, lying pieces of shit" is appropriate. ;)

Pro-Breast is sometimes not the best!

2010-08-27T10:47:00.001-04:00

As I have posted in the past I am all about breast feeding, I think it is a wonderful gift we have as women to be able to feed our babies naturally. I did it for 4 days, then my son was not getting enough milk, I was miserable from my c-section, I made the choice to go with formula. My son was happy, I never had to complain about him waking up in the middle of the night because he went to bed happy and slept through the night...it worked for us. I would never say anything bad about breast feeding moms...if I had another child I would try to breast feed longer but I would not hesitate to put them on formula.

About a month after I had Xavier I developed blood clots and nearly died. As soon as I went to the ER they informed me after they gave me the amount of thinners I needed and plus the medicine that I needed (and had to go to ICU because it was so strong) my milk would no longer be good...so I feel it was a blessing that I switched when I did. Could you imagine my husband trying to take care of a newborn trying to switch a child..oh goodness.

With all that said I am not "pro breast" or "pro formula" I just think that it is good that we have the choice to make the right decisions for our child.

I was just on Facebook and there is a group forming in my area Pittsburgh Breast Feeding Bag Project . I always read what different groups are about. This one wants to take the "free formula" that is given to new parents out of the hospitals. Seriously? What happened to choice....? Why would anyone want to do this?

I am starting to learn that people that have chose to use formula are so much more open minded then women that breastfeed. I feel like women that breastfeed look down on women that choose to use formula...and for some people didn't choose...because you do not know a persons medical history and if they can or can not breastfeed for certain reasons.

I love hearing how pro breast women always say they are doing it that way their kids do not get sick. I always laugh to myself because my son was only on the breast for 4 days...he is 2 1/2 years old and has not had a sick visit with his doctor since November '08...the year he was born. He has never had a high fever, never had an ear infection, is not over weight....he is perfect.

PERFECT I SAY....and he LOVED his formula. :)

Women need to stop caring so much about what other mothers do and care about their own babies. Do not look down on someones choice...mind your business with your own kids.

Thank goodness I can say that I am a supporter of the breast and formula...and I have the balls to say it...! :)

Sometimes momma's need advice.

2010-08-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

I don't think that people understand that being a stay at home mom is so much more then just staying at home with your little one(s). We are a 24/hour 7/day a week teacher to them. They watch everything we do. For instance, I call my husband anything but his name, and on this blog...some things I shouldn't, but around the house it is mostly "baby" or "babe." It is just a habit...believe me I don't do it in public. Well anyway, sometimes we forget that Xavier is this sponge and picking up anything and everything. We were laying in bed just the other night and Andrew was trying to go to sleep and Xavier goes over to him and goes "dada...daddy" and pokes him. Andrew didn't even open his eyes and says "what you want X" Xavier goes "you okay babe?" We fell out laughing. It was sooo funny. Okay, maybe you had to be there, but anyway it just goes to show that they are always listening.

That brings me to my next topic. I know there are some mommys on here that read my blog and they don't have to worry about money. I am not one of those moms. Don't get me wrong, we are by far poor...but we are tight on a budget. When I worked and Andrew worked...before we had a child we never had to worry about money, but now with one income, we do. It is a big change for me, but I am getting used to it. Especially with me being in school now, we are tight. I do plan to start selling Party Lite at the beginning of next year, but we have about 6 more months until then. Well, my question is, how do you parents and especially moms deal with money struggles without letting your little ones notice. I worry about money all the time. I do not want it to show though. My parents were always worried about money when I was young, but it wasn't until I was older that I found out all the struggles they had...they hid it from me. I commend them from doing a good job at this because I do not think any kid should have to know of adult troubles. I just wish I could wake up with no money worries...but then again, I am sure having a lot of money causes problems too...but I think I would rather take those worries...wouldn't you? lol.

Monday Rant

2010-08-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

I just love Mondays...waking up and coming downstairs to the kitchen a mess from the weekend, the living room a disaster...and me left alone with the child. Hmmm...I wonder who is to clean up the mess from the weekend? You guessed it! ME! I never thought in a million years being a stay at home mom would be like this. I guess I shouldn't complain, it is my job. I just wish for a few days my lovely hubby would have to switch roles with me. I think once he saw staying at home all day is not all peaches and cream that he thinks it is. I have a major case of PMS, which involved me waking up this morning with a little man inside my head drilling on the left side of my head trying to get out....yes you guessed it a headache from hell. As I sit here drinking my coffee hoping that something takes this pain away, I know I could be cleaning the living room...but I deserve a break too? Right?

The first weekend of Oct. is MOMMIES WEEKEND! 3 of us are going up to my friends cabin...let me remind you, this cabin has no running water or electric....but it is soo fun to go up and just chill out for the weekend...away from MEN! We are leaving that Friday night and we will be home Sunday afternoon. Saturday we are going to Fall Foliage which is like a big craft show in the county we go to. It is so nice. Then we go to the local bar and eat wings and drink our brains out and go back to the cabin and continue the drinking. There is a lot of male bashing and venting also, which is much needed. We do this every year and I look forward to it every year. I am counting the days. I wonder if when I get home the house will be clean? HAHAHAHA....what a joke that was! lmao!

Sony Vaio shuts off on its own...lovely.

2010-08-20T12:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I wrote last week how I put on my big girl panties and took back the netbook I bought. I still thing that was the best decision I have made in a long time. It was so not worth my money. Well, now I am back to using my Sony Vaio VGN-CS215J. Don't get me wrong, I love this laptop...but the thing has a mind of its own. It shuts down for no reason at all. Every time I post on a form about it, I get the same response...."it's over heating." I know this is not what is happening because I can have it shut down all day, turn it on, and 5 minutes into it being on...the thing shuts off. The screen goes black and off it goes. Sometimes I can turn it right back on, other times it has to sit...! It really is driving me crazy. I can hear the fans working in it...I have restored the whole thing....still shuts off. I have found that it shuts off when I am playing my game I am addicted to....Frontierville. I do not know if that has anything to do with it, but it seems to shut off more when I play that...but that is not the only time that it will shut off.

I really do not want to take it to someone because for the amount I put into getting this fixed I can get another computer. I do plan on getting a new computer, but I just have to wait til we get some extra money.

If anyone has any ideas for me...please please please post them. I really love my laptop...other then shutting off it works really nice and I have no complaints. Any ideas or even better...solutions would be great!

"Please tuck it back in your diaper"

2010-08-19T11:53:00.000-04:00

There are soo many things I never thought that I would have to tell my toddler. I say things that are just so random all day, and then I giggle to myself and have to remind myself that he is a boy and it is just going to get worse.

He is figuring out that he can play with his...ummm..."DD." His hand is down his diaper when he is watching tv...(think al bundy.) It really drives me insane, I do not know what to do about this. I don't want to make him think it isn't okay to touch down there, but I also want him to learn that he needs to do it when no one is around...! It's harmless though it really is, he is just a toddler. I have this weird fear that he is going to do it once he starts preschool though, omg I can just imagine that phone call home.

Today tops it though. He is sitting there watching Dora. I look over and he is sitting there with his legs like open...just watching tv. Then as I go back to reading on my laptop something caught my eye...yes his DD is hanging out the side of his Diaper. The next thing is what I never thought I would ever have to say "Can you please tuck your DD back in your diaper, it's hanging out the side." The funny part is, he looked down like "oh it is" and put it back. *bangs my head on the wall*

Is this a normal thing for little boys? I keep telling myself that it is, but I can only take so much. It can't be that fun to have hanging out? Can it? Oh goodness, and they say it gets worse when they are older, at least when they are older I hope I don't have to say "please tuck in your DD!" At least I would hope not!

I need advice moms of boys...I really do...what do I say to the boy? HELP!

What the "F" was I thinking?!

2010-08-15T23:04:00.000-04:00

So its guys night out for my hubby. His friends get together once a month, it started out where they would watch the WWE Pay-per-views. They still get the pay-per-views each month but now I think it is more of just an excuse to get together, just the guys. Fine with me, I can use the night to myself. Oh wait, its not a night to myself, it is just like every freakin' other day. I shouldn't say that because I do get out here and there, and I know my husband needs that to. It just gets annoying sometimes. Well, tonight after my hubby left what did I do. I did the wrong thing. Me and Xavier laid down on the couch. It was only supposed to be for 1/2 hour until Dora's Birthday Show came on. Well, what happens, we wake up at 9:45pm! What the fuck was I thinking? Now not only him, but both of us are going to be up for the rest of the night. There is no way we are going to be sleeping anytime soon! I should of never laid down on that couch, but it was just so comfortable.

Oh then what happened last night. Andrew went into the kitchen and notices our whole kitchen is soaked. He looks up and drip, drip, drip. Yup...a big ol'leak in the ceiling. We called the landlord (when things like this happen...and they don't happen often I get excited we rent) anyway, we called her and she felt soo bad. Let me just say we seriously have the best land-lady in the world. She bends over backwards for us. We checked the room above the kitchen and its not wet, so it has to be something from the rain. Someone is coming to look at it Monday (tomorrow). The good thing, it hasn't rained anymore and the drip stopped, but I am just waiting for the sagging paint to give away, its like a bubble. I have this huge need to get a pin and pop the fucker, but I know I can't do that. It's just one of those things that you have that urge to do..and it like eats away at you until you do it. Sorta like seeing a big pimple on your face and having that need to pop it! haha. okay that was kinda gross...but true!

Wish me luck, lets hope this little boy decides he wants to sleep soon and not stay awake all night from our nap. I am not going to hold my breath!

Facebook posts that make me puke a little in my mouth!

2010-08-10T12:43:00.000-04:00

Loving your family is one thing, but telling the world so much on your facebook is another. Seriously, some peoples status messages make me gag. Of course, I am sure I have some that make people want to gag, but I would like to think I have more funny ones rather then "trying to convince myself I have a happy family by telling the world everyday" type messages.

It is cute to sometimes post about how much you love your family...sometimes you just have those moments. It happens. To post day in and day out what a great family you have, how much you love you husband, your kids, you dog...blah blah blah....STOP! It gets to the point it looks like you are trying to convince yourself you are happy and love your family rather then actually loving them. Seriously, it does.

If a person is really happy with their lives, they do not care about telling the world, they honestly can give a fuck less what anyone things. Like myself, I KNOW I have the BEST husband, the BEST son, everything, I am very content...but I will not shove it down someones throat because I honestly can care less what anyone else things. I am happy and that is all that matters. I do not need to prove it to anyone else.

I think this has to come from immaturity or just wanting attention. I don't know. I would rather post on facebook about how good my fart just felt as I let it out rather then my family is perfect. (We are far from perfect) Sometimes I would rather bang my head against the wall rather then reading some peoples messages. I do understand that people will be people and post what they want...which is fine. I do know I have the option to hide them or take them off my list...but I am just too nosey. I would rather just bitch in my blog!

Mommy Meltdowns.

2010-08-09T13:11:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong to sometimes want to bang your head against the wall when your child is having a melt down? I seriously am to that point with my son today. It's not that he is getting on my nerves, it is just the screaming and carrying on for no reason. I understand he missing daddy, but he is too young to understand that daddy needs to go to work to make the money.

My son is at the age where he says he wants something...which I thought would be the best thing to happen. This morning he told me he wanted eggs and toast. He even helped me scramble the eggs in the bowl....made him toast...everything was going wonderful. Well until I brought out the eggs and toast to him and he looked at it and said "that's yuckie, I don't want that!" I honestly wanted to dump those eggs on his head but instead of doing that I said "well that is breakfast...enjoy." I am not starting the whole I keep making things til he eats crap. I put the food down, and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat it...he has to learn. He now is eating the toast. I asked him what he wanted to lunch and he ran over and grabbed the toast...whatever. If he wants to eat that, fine with me. (Don't worry I will make him a lunch)

He also is starting the new thing, when I sit down to do something...anything...from school work, blogging, reading the mail...anything he runs over and needs to be on my lap at that moment. I am to the point I can not get anything done during the day. If I try to move him he will scream. I will let him scream and ignore him but there are some times that I just don't want to hear it. Seriously, a mom can only take so much during the day.

Then when my husband gets home and sees that the living room is a mess and it looks like I did nothing all day how does one explain "I listened to your son scream all day and now that has worn me out." Listening to a toddler all day can wear someone out just as much as running a marathon....if someone doesn't agree with that come to my house for a day, I bet you leave tired.

Oh I can't wait to get back into the working world....

Emmett Trapp

2010-08-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

Becoming a mother changes someone so much. I knew this happened, but I didn't know that it happened to the extent of what has happened to me. I always wanted children, I knew it would happen one day but I was also the type that didn't like other peoples children. I hated when they got in my way at the store, everything you can imagine I hated. All my friends could never imagine me with kids. One of my best friends once told me he wouldn't trust me with his pet rock! Lovely. Well, this whole parenting thing has changed me, and it has changed me for the better. It really has. I am considerate of all children now. If I am in my car and see a mom and kid trying to cross the street I always make it a point to let them go, I go out of my way to hold doors for moms and strollers, and I even say hi to other little kids when they look up at my in the stores. Believe me, this would of never happened 10 years ago...but at least I admit it.

That brings me to my blog today that I NEED to write. I heard about Emmett Trapp wandering out of his house during nap time at his families house my heart went out to his family. I was drawn into this story. I don't know why it touched me so much. I don't know if was his little picture they kept showing on TV, or if its because he was the same age as Xavier. It doesn't matter, his story touched me. How many times have us mothers took a nap with our kids? It happens. This time this mom woke up and her child was gone. Again, I do not know what exactly happened, the news is not really saying much and I am trying to stay away from it because of the outcome of this. From what I hear this little boy, Emmett wandered out of his home in a diaper, PJ top and bare feet. (the same thing my child wears when we are having lazy days at home) The found his foot prints and he wandered for 3-4 miles looking for his house. They found him face down in the mud, the angels took him. I cried, I still cry thinking about it. I can not get this picture of him out of my head. I can not get the thoughts of what this mother must be going through out of my head. I seriously have cried about this so much. I hide it because I think people would think I am crazy...but this story has literally broke me. I look at my son and I am just so thankful that I have him. I give him extra kisses and hugs and I just want to hold him forever. I just want to say, I did not know Emmett Trapp, I didn't know his family and I never heard the name before it was on the news....but Emmett, you have taught parents to take that extra step in watching their children....you may be with the angels now, but you have touched a spot in my heart and I will always keep that extra eye on my child because of your story.

"Parents need to control their kids"

2010-08-04T10:55:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I got into a tweet argument that I knew I had to turn into a blog post because I was outraged yesterday. I actually wanted to post this blog as soon as it happened but I know it would not come out nice since I was heated. (lol)

I was going through my tweets yesterday and a friend of mine from my High School days retweeted this...

AMEN!!! ---> “@Dxxxxxx82: Dear parents of screaming kids: CONTROL THEM! There are other god d**m shoppers you know! That's all

I don't even know where to start with this one...oh wait...yes I do! I would like for someone to explain to me "how to control my child." My child has a mind of his own, I can not CONTROL him. I am lucky my child does not scream in the store. Yes, we have had our melt downs, and I personally will let him sit in the cart and scream his little head off if he wants a toy that he is not getting. If I would "remove him from the situation" then he would learn to scream and cry whenever he didn't get his way, or scream and cry if he wanted to leave the store and I was not ready. Personally, if you are grocery shopping and you do not have a child and you hear someones child screaming and you don't like it...Leave. It is that simple. Just because we have a child with us that is making noise that YOU do not like, why should we have to leave. Us parents have things to get done too...!

I admit, when I was younger and didn't have children I said it all..."there should be stores that babies aren't aloud to be in" you name it I said it. Now that I have a child, all those thoughts have left my mind. Now when I hear a screaming child I feel for that parent. Do you think us parents love to hear our child scream and disrupt the whole store as we are trying to shop? Hell no! We have to deal with the stares and everything else rude people might do...but what would you like me to do...go to the duct tape department and put some over my child's mouth to CONTROL THEM? (seriously at one point or another us parents have thought about it...believe me) Us parents that have had the screaming child do not get a kick out of it or make our child scream just to ruin your day. Put yourself in our situations.

Next time you non-parents hear a screaming child in a store put yourself in that parents situation....pretend it is the only time that week you are able to go get groceries...you run to the store and your child wants to leave, but you HAVE to get things....he/she is screaming, you can't leave the store until you get what you need...how would you feel? Exactly.

Maybe next time you hear a screaming kid in a store and you want to get upset, take a deep breath and just think....what if that was me as a parent...someday it just might be! Be mature about it, actually use your head and think....it just might change your mind!

Pregnancy Advice to Parenting Advice.

2010-08-03T13:02:00.000-04:00

There are many things that bother, especially other people. If there is one thing that I can not stand is people that can't mind their business or give me advice that I do not want to hear. You can talk to me until you are blue in the face but I am not going to change my ways for anyone. I might think about your advice, but I am still going to do what I want to do...especially when it comes to my kid. Seriously, once you announce you are pregnant just be prepared for all the unwanted advice. I got advice that I could not dye my hair to I couldn't eat Feta Cheese. The only person I would listen to was my doctor. FYI: you can dye your hair according to my doctor, the chemicals don't seep into your head, and if some would its not enough to hurt...and you CAN eat Feta Cheese, just make sure it is pasteurized...which if you buy it in a store it normally is. I also got told that I should stop taking my anxiety meds...this is after I switched to Zoloft which was cleared by my doctor...seriously no one could mind their business with me...and I did get annoyed. Honestly, unless the person is doing harm to the unborn child (smoking, drinking, etc) seriously, just keep your mouth shut to a pregnant women, they have enough to worry about besides you telling them that they might be doing something wrong.

Anyway, back to my point of my post. Today I was in the doctors office waiting room with my mother in law, I had my 4th weigh in so she took me so she could keep an eye on the boy while I went back into the room. Well this chain smoking lady...you can tell by her voice...older lady....nice....decided to chat it up with us. She saw Xavier and started talking about her grandchildren...blah blah blah. She pulled out pictures. I honestly think she saw that my mother in law was black and I was white....and since her grandkids were half black we were in some kinda "club." Well then she happen to see Xavier was in diapers and said "honey how old is he" and I told her 2 1/2 and she was like "oh my God, and he isn't potty trained yet?" I was like "That is normal, he is a boy they take longer" and she begins to tell me "ohhh no, I had my grandkids potty trained, that is not good for him." I smiled and said "Well he is our one and only and we feel when he is ready he will let us know." So she keeps going on and on about what I should do and blah blah blah. I blocked her out from then on and thank goodness she was called back not too much longer.

Seriously? Lady, I am his mom and if he isn't ready and I tell you that he isn't ready, don't begin to give me advice. I do not mind changing his diapers...he is going to be my only child...I will do it at his pace. He is going to day care in Feb, I am sure he will be trained by then....but I refuse to push it on him. I don't think that it is good to do that for a child. Grrr.

That is my rant. If anyone is reading this and gives out advice to people like that, just don't do it. It's honestly rude!

What is the craziest advice you have got since you got pregnant/had kids!???

I thought like an adult twice in one weekend!

2010-08-01T21:14:00.000-04:00

I had a compete adult break through today. It doesn't happen often so when it does I get very proud of myself. Well, I bought that very cute net-book a week ago...remember the cute pink plaid one. Ya, well I took it back today! I had 14 days to return the item and I did it. The grand total for that cute little thing was $405! Seriously! The more I used it and the more I thought about it, it just wasn't worth that much money. It really wasn't. It honestly ran really slow and it ticked me off more then this ~~piece of shit~~ Sony Vaio shutting down. I am going to eventually get a new laptop, I need one for school, but for now I am just going to do all my major papers on Andrew's until I find something I like and that is priced good. I think if I wait til around Black Friday I will be able to find a deal that I like. So be it, a few more months won't kill me...but it might kill ya'll once I am down from being an adult and cursing out this computer for shutting off on me again!

Another adult moment I had this weekend...yes...I can't believe 2 in one weekend! I ran to Walgreens because my period snuck up and was actually on time for once so I needed that stuff. I walked in and what is right in front of my face...

I had no idea that Walgreens sold PILLOW PETS! I hear my 2 1/2 year old singing this all day long, asking for one when the commercial comes on and I haven't ordered one because I think $6 for shipping a pillow is just insane...now I do not have to! I saw the bumble bee....the "bzzzz" Xavier says every time I ask him which one he wants and I grabbed it....I was like then this wave of ration came over me. "You do not NEED to buy him this just because he wants it" I heard in my head "this would be a good Christmas gift" I tried fighting it but I put the bee down and stepped back. I DID IT...I didn't give into my "my child needs everything he wants." I fought it and I WON! I am 100% going back and buying that damn bee, but I am not doing it until I am on my way to my parents so I can stick it in our hiding spot for his Christmas gifts! How proud of myself I am, but I really did want to cuddle on that softness they call a pillow pet!

Oh how I love shopping for my son....but I love having adult rationing more!

Terrible 2's....oh just wait!

2010-07-30T11:52:00.000-04:00

There is one thing that makes me laugh, when someone has a child they think is going through the "terrible 2's" when their child is not even 2 yet. I was one of those parents, and right now I would kill to have my child back in that stage. I thought things could only get better that the temper tantrums at 1 1/2 were as bad as they were going to get. What the fuck was I smoking? We are at the stage right now of if this boy drops a piece of paper wrong he is on the ground pounding his fists into the floor. I just look at him like "is that really necessary?" I am the queen at ignoring, I just don't even waste my breath. I seriously hope this is the worst it gets, but I am not lying to myself anymore, I know its is going to get worse. Just a few minutes ago he was stacking paper onto the coffee table, a piece flew off and hit the floor...all I see next is a boy going to the floor screaming and crying. I just looked at him like he was crazy, which of course made him more mad...but I don't fall for it. If he wants something done, he has to do it. I am not going to do something for him just to keep him from flipping out, I figure if I do that the tantrums are never going to stop.

Have we had a breakdown in a public place yet? Once...it was a few months ago at the Cheesecake Factory, but that was when I thought he was going through the terrible 2's...so it really wasn't that bad. I am just waiting for the day of one of these melt downs to happen in the middle of WalMart. Oh gosh, people of Wal Mart here we come! I can see it now. Hey, at least he isn't on a leash right? haha. KIDDING. sorta.

I just want to pound my head against the wall most days, especially today when I have school work to finish and knowing that is on the end of my list because of the mood the little one is in. Now that he is fitting himself into the papers diaper box, I think it might be time to go get him out and maybe do some finger painting...yes I have lost my damn mind!

Nothing like Mommy/Son Time!

2010-07-29T10:25:00.000-04:00

Last night was so cute! I was down stairs doing homework, I ran up to go to the bathroom and Xavier met me at the door with his blankie and pillow...it was midnight but he wanted to come downstairs with me. I told him as long as he laid on the couch and watched some TV he could come down with me. I made him a comfy little bed on the couch and I continued to do homework...then I got an idea! (Yea happens to me sometimes) I called him in the kitchen and said "shhh do you want a secret snack" he looked up at me with a big smile and said "secret!" I pulled out some vanilla ice-cream...I didn't even care that it was midnight! I made him a little bowl of ice-cream pulled up a chair and had him put some chocolate sauce on it and then he added sprinkles. I told him he could even go eat it on the couch! He went out into the living room, got under his blankie and sat there and ate his ice-cream! He kept looking at me saying "secret shhh" and I would say "shhh don't tell daddy." It was a nice cute night. I finished up getting some of my homework down and he was laying watching the backyardagains robot movie and asked me to come watch it with him. We curled up on the couch and started watching the movie together and the next thing I knew it was today! Im sore as can be, but let me tell you...it was worth every soreness in my body to see how much he enjoyed that time with me last night...ice-cream and all! There is nothing like bonding with your son, there is just the connection and I love it.

Leashing your child....give me a break!

2010-07-28T14:21:00.001-04:00

I have always said before I had children, I would never leash my child. Seriously, I wanted to strangle the person that even came up with the idea. I still to this day can not see the point in them. Over the years I have been a member of the best mommy community on the web, and of course there has been many debates over this and some people bring up some good arguments over everything, but I have always been able to fight back with my beliefs. I would love to get others opinions, because maybe I need to try to see it through a view of a pro-leasher. I am not sure...so here I go.

The "I only do it in crowded places" parent

This is the main point people bring up in the leashing debates. To be honest, I just don't understand it. My toddler isn't the best, he runs off just like any other kid...but that is how I teach him. If my toddler was on a leash and ran off in a crowded area I just run after him and correct him...tell him "no" and he learns his lesson and doesn't run off again. Seriously...how hard is that to do. If he was leashed up he would never learn that he can not run off in a crowded area. How does a child learn not to run if he can't do it? I was never leashed, and I am sure I bolted a few times and gave my parents a heart attack, but I learned I couldn't do that especially in a crowded area!

The "he refuses to hold my hand" parent

Well guess what, they are never going to learn to hold your hand on a leash! A child has to learn, it is that simple. Just because your child gets away from you when you are holding their hand, or just out right refuses to hold you hand, how are they ever going to learn not to do this on a leash!? I have never put a leash on my toddler, and my toddler learns when he steps out of the house, he gives me his hand...and he holds it. Did he do this all the time? NO...but guess what...I taught him...its called "parenting."

The "I don't want my kid touching things in the store" parent

*Bangs my head off the wall* If the thought of leashing your child in a store, mall, or any other type of public place of the sorts...you should not have kids! Seriously, if you can not control your kids in a store there is just something wrong with you. I really have no other words for you other then that. If you feel the need to do this, I really think you should rethink your roll of being a parent.

Maybe I am just closed minded, maybe this is a good way to keep a child next to your side...I don't know but I know I will never use one to find out. I am sure there are plenty of things I do that drive people crazy with my parenting style (letting my 2 year old sleep in our bed with us.) I just am so sick of seeing leaches everywhere I go. It is like the new trend for toddlers...kind of like those ugly rubber band bracelets that every freakin' teen is wearing these days. GAG. All in all, I really don't understand the whole toddlers on leashes, I do not understand how they are ever going to learn how to hold hands if they are on a leash and don't have to hold your hand. I personally think it is lazy parenting. Go ahead...throw stones at me, gut me, I am waiting to hear it. I just had to blog because I really can't take it much more.

"Shut-Up"

2010-07-26T11:42:00.000-04:00

If I had to pick one word that I thought was the worst word in the world it would have to be "shut-up." I hate it, I can not stand when someone says it to me and I can not stand saying it to someone else. I promised myself when I had a child I would not be one of those parents that said this to their kids. Why? It is simple, I do not what my kid to turn around and say it to me. I honestly can't stand the word. When it comes out of someones mouth it just seems to negative. I would rather hear a cuss word rather then "shut-up."
I have caught Andrew twice telling Xavier to "shut up" and I got on him about it each time. I told him my reasoning and Andrew agreed but he was just caught up in the moment and it came out. I still told Andrew that was not a good excuse and to please watch it....well.....!

Last night there were kids outside screaming, at first it sounded like there was a big fight outside so I went over to the window and opened it to "be nosey." I kept telling Xavier to be quiet over and over again because it seemed like as soon as I opened the window to listen to make sure nothing was wrong outside he got louder and louder. Well he screamed one more time and I turned around and it came out...." shhuuut-up xavier!" As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back, I wanted to rewind time and take it back. The one thing I promised I would never say to my child just came out of my mouth. I didn't take it back right away, I wanted to crawl into a hole and bury myself forever. I finally figured out it was just kids being kids outside and I sat back down on the couch and just thought about what I said. Andrew didn't say anything about it, but I know he wanted to, because I was the one that always got on him for "the word."

I sat there for a good half hour just thinking about it and not saying anything. Finally I called Xavier over and told him momma was sorry for telling him to "shut up" and that it is not a word I like and I did not mean to tell him this. I told him it is not a nice word blah blah blah. I got done explaining this to him and I said "do you understand" and he turned around and said "okay" and went on back to playing with his toy kitchen.

I feel better that I apologized to Xavier, even though he probably doesn't fully understand what I said. I still wish that I could take back that moment. I guess that is a mommy moment that I learned from...and something that I will never forget.

I love my new Pink HP Netbook!

2010-07-23T13:54:00.000-04:00

Like my new netbook? I am on love, thanks to my wonderful husband! I think he honestly got tired of me bitching about how much I hated my Sony Vaio laptop. I would never suggest a Sony laptop to anyone. I had mine for 2 years, which I do not think is a long time at all for something you pay close to $1000 for. Anyway, the thing would just shut off whenever it felt like it, the keys were falling off...it was a mess. The other night topped it off when I was just about done with my homework assignment for the week in the class I am having trouble with. Of course I didn't think to save every now and then, and then I went to save before I proofed it and BANG shut down....lost it all. That topped it off. I was done right then and there. I still do not feel like redoing the damn paper, but I have to by Sunday night. It will get done, I am juts annoyed.

My child is in this mood today, if I tell him anything or say anything to him he screams, falls to the floor and pounds his fists. I just want to say "I give up" and do the same thing he is doing but then I remember I am the adult in the situation and just have to ignore him. I would love to fall to the floor and pound my fists and cry and scream. Actually wait, I did it the other night when my computer shut off! HA! Seriously though, I am just ignoring him today. This morning he got mad at me, honestly I do not even know what for so he took his big huge bouncy ball and threw it at me in anger so I put my hand up and it knocked back to him and hit him in the head. It was honestly so funny but being the adult again I couldn't laugh but he was so mad at me. He fell to the floor and turned all red screaming. HA. One up for mommy!

When Andrew gets home I have to run to the store and get PJ's for my sleep test tomorrow. I need something with shorts or capri's and the shirt has to be button down. So, I am on a mission tonight to find it. Usually Joe Boxer Brand at K-Mart has nice plus sizes that I know fit around my boobs, so I am just going there first. I hope I have luck because I really do not feel like spending my evening trying to find something to wear for a few hours while people watch me sleep!

Time for me to go, I am going to try to get some school work done before my lovely hubby gets home. I really do miss him, I am so excited that it is Friday, it just really sux that I miss a whole Saturday night without him...the weekends are the time I look forward to being with him for 2 days straight and of course I have to get this test done. Oh well.

Check 1 Check 2

2010-07-22T01:02:00.000-04:00

I love saying up late at night to get things done around the house, and more importantly my homework...but let me tell you it is killing me. I am on such a weird schedule that I really need to break. I need to start getting to be earlier and getting up earlier and doing my homework then...but it is just not happening. I do not know how to get on that schedule when I am really enjoying staying up and having the "house to myself" sorta speak. It is nice to be able to get my homework done, clean the living room and then lay on the couch and watch some TV before I go to bed. The only thing that sucks is before I know it, its 3am! EEK!

I haven't been blogging...that means that nothing has been going around worth talking about. It is like the same ol'thing going on everyday...wake up...breakfast...clean....lunch...clean again, nap time, hubby gets home, dinner, tv, homework, sleep....!

One thing that I am looking forward to is my Sleep Apnea test on Saturday night. I am thinking of it as a vacation. I go at 10pm and I promise I will probably be asleep as soon as I can. A night with a bed to myself...even though I will be hooked up to a bunch of crap...its better then being kicked in the tummy all night by a toddler. LOL.

Just checking in to let everyone know I am alive and kickin!

When does reasoning turn into bribing?

2010-07-19T12:20:00.000-04:00

I have been "reasoning" with Xavier lately, but its almost along the line of bribing. I do not want to be a parent that has to bribe their kid to do things, but I also want to be able to reward him for good behavior.

Today Xavier found a lollipop in his bag as I was making breakfast. I came out and he threw a fit because he wanted his "pop" and I told him he had to eat his toast. This went on and on forever and I told him if he would take ONE bite of toast he could have his pop. Well, he just wouldn't and ending up throwing the toast on the floor. I made him throw it in the garbage and just let him calm down...and it hid the pop. I let him sit there for about 15 minutes then I went in and made him some soup since by then it was noon. He ate all his soup and was sitting on the couch watching Sponge Bob. I called him over and said "since you are all your soup you can now have your pop." I gave it to him and he was happy.

My whole thing is, should I even of gave him the pop since he refused to eat the first thing that I gave him. I knew he liked the toast and peanut butter, he has ate it before...so there was no reason for him not to take at least one bite. I wanted to show him that when he does something he gets "rewarded".

I don't want to be one of those parents that have to bribe their kids to eat. I just hate parents that are overheard in restaurants bribing their kids to stop crying, or to eat their veggies. (thank goodness Xavier loves his veggies) Sometimes I catch myself giving into him, just because I do not want to cause a fight or hear his screaming and crying. I know I am wrong for this, the last thing I want is for him to grow up as a spoiled only child....like his mother. *smile*

I really need some help....is bribing okay? When is it okay?

Who is leaving Big Brother 12?

2010-07-15T13:26:00.000-04:00

Well, I am officially obsessed with Big Brother 12. Yes, I stay up til around 3:30am every night watching these boring house guest. (Thanks to my daddy for buying me the feeds.) I figure this is once a year that I look forward to this show so I am going to take full advantage of watching. I will just deal with being tired all damn day!

I only have a minute before nap time but I wanted to write down what I thought about the show tonight and who I think is going. Here are my ideas and I want to see if I get any of them correct!

I really do not have any guesses to who the SAB is. I want to say Andrew...but I am still having mixed feelings, my thoughts on this change by the minute.

I do think the 2 house guests that are "life long friends" are Kathy and Britney. I think they are mother and daughter. The SAB said it was obvious if you think about it, and the SAB did have these 2 X'ed out that one morning. (their pictures)

Annie and Rachael are up to be voted out. I personally think the SAB is going to switch votes tonight and the opposite of who they wanted to leave is going to leave...does that make sense?

I want to see if I am correct on any of these things. Does anyone have any ideas? I am crazy for this show so I would love to hear what everyone else thinks!

Smooches!

6 Items I hate spending money on...

2010-07-14T12:55:00.000-04:00

There are 6 things in the world that makes me cringe every time I have to purchase them. Seriously, I hate hate hate spending money on these things, I would do anything if I never had to spend our hard earned money on them again!

6. Toilet Paper- This in life should just be free. This house goes through rolls and rolls of this stuff I wonder how much money in a lifetime is wiped with shit and flushed down the toilet. When my husband says "don't forget to buy toilet paper" I just want to kick something.

5. Garbage Bags- We are buying these things to throw away! Think about it, the only thing you do with these bags are put them in the trash. Every time I add them to my list I just know its going to be a bad shopping day. I should invent something else that can hold our trash....or something. I don't exactly know what it would be, but something!

4. Paper towels- Same reason. The only thing you do with these are get them dirty and put them in the trash. We can not live w/out them though. We need them, we have to clean with them (well you don't HAVE to, but they make daily life easier) This morning I wasted half a roll cleaning up cat puke off my floor with them...I should of just cleaned my floor with dollar bills.

3. Tissues- Boogers....need I say more?

2. Water- I hate buying bottled water. I wish I had something to do with the bottles instead of throw them in the garbage. It makes me mad to put them in the garbage bags but what else is there to do with them? My water seriously tastes like chemicals, maybe it is all in my head, but I buy water. It just sounds crazy to even say "I buy water" who ever started such a thing...kinda like the "pet rock."

1. Pads/Tampons- I should just line my panties and stuff myself with money....

Parents can NEVER win!

2010-07-13T12:09:00.000-04:00

I made it to the grocery store last night! I honestly do not know how I did it, I was so tired, and I still am, but I seem to still be staying up as late as possible to get homework done. Okay, maybe I shouldn't blame it all on homework, I have this time obsession with the television show "Big Brother" and I was up til ~~1am~~, ~~2am~~, okay seriously 3am last night. They were not even interesting in the house, just sitting around talking and gossiping and I couldn't stop watching. I think it is the whole thing about being able to log into someones "house" and spying, even though there are millions of others doing it too I just love it. I always say every house should have cams and we should be able to log in and see what they are doing at all hours of the day (including mine). How neat would that be? Okay, maybe not all that neat because as I sit here drinking my coffee I am in a tee shirt and underware and I have no plans on getting out of it today. lmao. If someone seriously wanted to log in and see that site...so be it...I feel bad for them! HA!

Okay I could talk about Big Brother and spying all day, its just my thing but I do have a rant. Of course I do...I am always ranting about something, right? Well this is going out to all the people that do not have kids, or just forget what it is like to have toddlers. We went to the grocery store last night and all day I promised Xavier that he could ride in the "car cart." At our grocery store they have these big plastic cars attached to some carts for kids to sit in...but it makes the cart hella big and for me really hard to drive. Hold on, let me see if I can find a picture, I know I took one of Xavier the first time he rode in one.

Okay, so you see how big it is and how hard it might be for someone to maneuver around the store. The thing is, parents will do this for their children to keep them quiet. Xavier loves it...he is quiet the whole time we are in the store, so I will attempt to push it. Andrew is usually there with me and he will help if I need it, but I like pushing. Well, there are people that will just pop in and get in my way, just walk in front of me, or even see me coming and just stand there as if they never saw me coming, then get mad if I say "excuse me" and they have to totally move so me and this car can get passed. I even get eyes rolled at me after they look at this cart. Honestly people, do you really think I want to have to use this cart? No, I really don't but as a parent we do need groceries. Then we have the people that say "leave the kids at home and only one parent go." No, why should we have to do this? I do not know what my husband is going to want to eat, he needs to be there to pick things out too. We are a family and we go out as one.

These are the same people that will give me dirty looks, roll their eyes, and make rude comments if my toddler is screaming the whole time we are in the store because he doesn't have a car cart. Now that I have become a parent I have learned that parents are at a lose lose situation with people. No matter what we do there are always people saying that we are doing it wrong, or opposite of how it should be done. People look at us like it is our fault our child is screaming bloody murder in the store. Parents learn how to block out our screaming kids, sometimes we have to because we do not want to give into them every time they cry. It brings me back to the lose lose. I was in Wal-Mart with Xavier once by myself. This was when he was around 18 months. He saw McDonalds and wanted french fries. I told him no and he was screaming, this lady rolled her eyes because I had a screaming child. Well, I finally just had to give in, he wouldn't stop and I thought about it and figured out he was hungry....time got passed me too fast and we did miss lunch. I ran and grabbed him a happy meal (shoot me I know) anyway, we saw that lady SAME LADY and she looked at the Happy Meal and then looked at me and shook her head! Seriously? Sometimes I just do not have words for people.

The good thing about me having a child is that I now watch my mouth a lot more, and I do not react to these people that have difference of opinion and give me dirty looks. Why give in to them? Why show that they are getting to me? Better yet, why teach my kids that it is okay to say something back in a rude manner? I can not say that about my hubby though, he still reacts and gives these people what they want. He stands up for me and the family...and I love him for that, even though sometimes I want to tell him to cool it, I would never do it in public.

Anyway, parents, I feel for you now that I am one. I have respect for my fellow parents, especially parents of toddlers because you know what they say about peoples opinions. :)

I am so busy I can't enjoy life.

2010-07-12T11:33:00.000-04:00

I seriously have been slacking on the blogging. I want to know, where does everyone find time to blog? Do you make time? Maybe I should set aside a certain time to blog...I do not know yet. I love it, it is my outlet...I just don't know when to always sit down and do it.

Last night I was up til after 2:30am taking notes for school and I am still not done. I seriously am driving myself crazy. Also, I got the feeds to Big Brother on CBS. Seriously, every summer I get sucked into that show and I count down til the new season once it ends. I love it. Sooo....now I can watch it on my computer live and I am never going to get things done. I am so into it already and it just started last week. So now on top of spending time with Xavier, Cleaning, Cooking, being a wife (yes it is a chore), and doing school work, blogging, preparing for surgery...I fit Big Brother into that....seriously...I need more hours in my day. I guess I should just enjoy it though because I am not going to be a "stay at home mom" forever.

I have to actually get Xavier and myself ready, when Andrew gets home later we have to go to get groceries. I am not looking forward to this. I am just not in the mood today. I don't feel like getting a shower and all that fun stuff that goes with getting ready. I honestly don't even think I am putting my face on, I am that tired. I am just in an "I need to get things done, don't bother me" kinda mood.

I just wanted to check in, I promise to blog more just bare with me for the next week or so while I get everything situated and I try to set aside time for all my tasks that need done. I really do need a schedule. If anyone has any ideas for me...please leave them. I need any help I can get!

Lisa Rollins hates breast feeding, fat cow

2010-07-09T13:15:00.000-04:00

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS WOMEN TALK SO RUDELY ABOUT BREAST FEEDING.

I admit, I only breast fed Xavier for 4-5 days. I tried, I really did give it my best but I just couldn't get the hang of it, Xavier wasn't getting enough food, and I gave up. I really wish I would not of gave up, but I did what was best for me and him, and he is a healthy little boy that has never even had an ear infection, so I am okay with my decision. Well, yesterday morning a friend of mine on facebook posted a link to this morning show host, honestly I have no idea what this cow is, it is the first time I heard of her. Anyone, I am going to refer to her as a "cow" because of the way she talks about breast feeding and how disgusted I got at her comments.

I posted the link to this radio show host said so ya'll could hear it for yourselves. I was in shock that a women, and even a mother would say some of the things that she said. If you were unable to listen I will sum it up. This cow said that she thinks breast feeding is disgusting. She was at chik-fil-a over the weekend (which she could of skipped) and a women sitting next to her was breast feeding her child and it made her sick and she almost lost her appetite. She then goes on to say that the women (get ready for this one) should of breast fed her baby on the way to the restaurant?! UMMMMM.....this cow would rather a mom take a child from a car seat and breast feed the baby on the way to the fast food joint? Then she goes on to say that there is the option to go into the bathroom and feed your child. I got a tip for you, cow, why don't you take your fat ass and your chicken sandwich into the bathroom and eat and see how much you like it?! Then she said that there should be LAWS about breast feeding in public! LAWS TO FEED YOUR CHILD?! What the fuck (excuse me) does she think your breasts are for? They are for feeding a child?! She would be the same person that would of bitched if that child was sitting there screaming the whole time.

I honestly can't even get into half the stuff she says, you really just have to listen to it for yourself because seriously typing this even makes me mad. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing when I listened to this bitch talk. I would like to ask everyone to send her emails, and pictures of women breast feeding. It just makes me mad at the things she said!

That's my Friday Rant!

I am too old for a hangover...

2010-07-06T13:44:00.001-04:00

*breath in....breath out.....* I can finally do this. My period was over a week late! Do you know how flipping scared I was this past week! I couldn't even bring myself to blog because I didn't want to blog about being late and everyone think I was pregnant, and then it get back to my family. I knew deep down there was no way I was pregnant, but let me tell you, when that period doesn't come, you start to second guess yourself, and that is just what I was doing. I was seriously panicking, and when that happens, it messes with you even more. Wow. All I can say is I am not complaining how bad my cramps are, how heavy it is, and how I feel like dying.

I got so drunk Saturday night. I warned Andrew from the beginning that he was going to have to take care of the boy when we went to my families cook out. I told him this was the last 4th of July for me to get wasted, and I was going to get wasted. I promised myself I was not going to puke...ya by the end of the night I was puking in my aunts bathroom. How much of a loser did I feel like? 27 and in my aunts bathroom puking my brains out. Then when I got home all I remember is sticking my finger down my throat. The only good thing is, that I did puke because the next day I just had the headache. I slept all day. It was bad. Never again. I am too old for that crap. Life is too short to waste a day in bed....but it felt soo good to do it. Trump vodka....never again...you mean mean man you!

I had my 3rd weigh in today. I am very excited that I am half way there. I am thinking about turning part of this blog into my weight loss blog...I wasn't going to, I really wasn't going to do it...but it is a part of me. I figure if I can help someone else out that may be going through the same thing as me, or considering it, or that has already done it....I would love to get feed back, so I'm really considering it. The one thing I do not want to do is put my starting weight...at least not until I get the surgery. I am embarrassed that I let myself get this heavy. When I was in high school and was 180lbs I really felt like I was huge...now I long to be that weight, and when I get back to that weight I am going to be so happy. My goal weight for myself is 130lbs, and I am going to get there...that is the promise I made to myself. I want to be healthy, and I also want to get into a tankini and feel comfortable! I will do it!

I said this wouldn't turn into a Gastric Bypass Prep blog... but its my life!

2010-07-02T12:20:00.000-04:00

I have no updated in a few days. Life got ahead of me this week. I have been super busy with school and I also had another appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday. This whole 6 month prep for my surgery is going super duper fast and I am actually starting to get a bit nervous. I made my appointment for my sleep apnea test, which is Saturday July 24th. This is totally going to be an experience! Seriously people watching me sleep all night? Oh geesh, I have to remember not to eat anything that is going to give me gas! Im going to be squeezing all the gas outta me on my way there, the last thing I want to do is let them out while I am sleep and not know. I would rather be awake and know that I am doing it! HA! The first thing I asked "Can I bring my iPhone?" Seriously, I don't think I could get through the night without it, thank goodness they told me yes! I was like "I won't be calling people, I just need to have contact with the outside world." The lady on the other end was cracking up at me, little does she know I am like that all the time. I am just goofy all the time, so this is going to be an experience. They asked me what time I usually go to bed, I told them around 2am...HA. She was like "oh wow." I was like "don't worry, its only cause I have a toddler and I am up doing school work, without him Ill probably be sleep on the way." Seriously, a whole night away from both boys...hell ya this is like a vacation! I am sure my hubby is thinking the same thing...!

About my appointment on Wednesday, it went really good. They weighed me at first, I didn't gain or lose which I guess is good. Then they looked at my food journal. They told me what I was doing wrong, then what I can do to change it. Seriously this whole 6 month prep for gastric bypass is wonderful. I have been learning so much about the way of eating. I eat totally wrong, at least I did...and of course sometimes still do. They are teaching me so much stuff I can not wait for the surgery and start my "life over" if that makes sense. I have my next appointment there on Sept 22nd, and they told me I will probably be able to get a date for my surgery then! How exciting is that! I am nervous, but excited at the same time. It is going to be around November...so then I got to thinking, last year was my last Thanksgiving! This year I will be on a liquid diet for Thanksgiving! I just got to keep thinking "skinny is better then turkey." Who the fuck am I fooling....not myself! haha!

Thank goodness its Friday! TaTa!

Personal space...gone!

2010-06-29T12:56:00.000-04:00

I really should hold a "pregnancy prevention" class in my house. I swear to goodness if a group of young girls came and followed me around for a day they would choose not to have sex until they are married, or even later then that! I wish they could just watch me as I try to take notes for school, and even study. I am actually learning how to take notes with a toddler crawling all over me. I have learned how to write while he is bouncing on my lap and my writing actually looks pretty darn good. I can also make lunch while he is hanging on my legs...and even study, paybills, and make phone calls while he is screaming in the background. I learned how to block out everything. If someone was able to video tape me during the day they would never want to have a child. LOL. I am not saying that my child is bad, he isn't, he just does toddler things. I always heard that once your child turns into a toddler you have no free time and no more personal space. I always thought they were exaggerating. I was wrong, it is the truth. Seriously, it is not easy for me to go to school, I rarely have time to go to class during the day online, I have to wait til he is in bed which means I don't get to bed til late and half the things I write in my class probably do not make sense (lol).

Other then me ranting today, nothing else is going on. I am super duper tired, and the only thing I am looking forward to is the show "Pretty Little Liars" tonight on the family channel! Does anyone else watch that show. I promised myself I would not start watching anything new since Big Brother starts next week (I am a Big Brother Addict) but I couldn't help but to watch this show, it looked super good...and it is. I have a list of shows that I watch during the week, well at least try to, and if I don't I put them on DVR until I get to them. I should list them for everyone, but then again if I list them you will really think I have no life and I think I would be embarrassed at all the shows I am addicted to? LOL. Hey, a mom can try to have some time to herself too right? *like that ever happens*

Learn to keep your mouth shut...please!

2010-06-28T12:12:00.001-04:00

I am annoyed but I do not know how to address the situation when it happens. This past weekend I had to go to a baby shower. Of course no one really likes going to those things, but you go to see people and socialize. I didn't bring Xavier because I really just wanted to get in there and get out...and I didn't feel like chasing after a toddler the whole time. Well, a certain family member just thinks they know everything about me and proceeds to talk to people about me, and they do not know they are hurting my feelings while they are doing it.

Let me start by saying after I had Xavier I told everyone I wanted at least 6 more kids...of course I was exaggerating but I love kids, babies, everything about being a mom. Well, a month into being a new mom I developed a Pulmonary Embolism and a DVT and was in the hospital for 12 days, honestly I almost didn't make it out of the hospital. Well, after I got out I still told people I wanted more kids. Then a month after I got out of the hospital I went back in because of my gallbladder...got that out and still told people I wanted more kids. Then came the day I went to my OBGYN check up and she sat me down and said with all my clots and things she would advise me to rethink about having anymore kids. I put on a face and went with it. I talked to my husband and I came to the decision I didn't care about what the doctor said I wanted to try again anyway. WELL, we tried last summer and nothing, and I look at it as a good thing because I woke up one morning and decided that Xavier and Andrew were too important to chance my life just because I wanted more kids. There was other ways of having children that didn't risk my life...and honestly our life as a little family of 3 (6 if you count the cats) was perfect. This was our decision...just between Andrew and I. I then told my close family Xavier was going to be the only child for now, and I was not having anymore children. I thought that my past was enough to explain why I was not having anymore kids.

Well, that brings me to yesterday. We are sitting there and someone asked me where Xavier was. I told them "He was home with his dad...they were having a boys day, and to be honest I needed a little break." This certain family member proceeds to say "Oh yes, when Xavier was born she said she wanted 6 kids, now that he is a toddler she says she is not having anymore." Ummmm...this is not true, and I do not want ANYONE to think that my child is making me not have another baby. I then have to go on to make it clear that it is our decision due to health issues we are not having anymore children. I do not know how to tell this person that my toddler is not the reason we are not having anymore children. I would not like him to grow up and then hear this, because this little boy is one of the best little boys in the world. Yes, of course I vent about him doing things, but its toddler things...nothing I can not handle. If it wasn't for my clots there is no doubt in my mind that I would either be pregnant now, or sitting here holding a baby.

Not only does it bother me that I have to make it clear its not Xavier s fault we are not having more kids, when I bring up my health issues it makes me relive everything. Of course I still would love to be pregnant again. I think about it everyday of my life. I wish I would of enjoyed being pregnant just a little more, if I would of known that was going to be my only pregnancy. I wish I would of laid awake a little more at night watching my stomach move.

I have a mouth, I wish people would just leave things unsaid. Sometimes it is not anyone's business.

"Stop coloring on YOUR toys"

2010-06-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

My 2 year old has a new obsession...coloring. It's fine, he scribbles with his crayons on all the paper that I give him then brings everyone pictures to hang up. He brings them to the grandma's, aunts, and anyone that will take one. He gets so proud. I have to say I am proud of him, he has only colored on the walls once and its nothing my magic eraser cant handle. (gosh i love that thing) Well, his new thing is coloring his toys. I have to keep repeating myself "stop coloring on your toys!" After I say that he gets all mad and yells at me and continues to color on his toys...its a fight that is never ending. As I sit here and think to myself...is he really doing any harm by coloring his own toys? I mean, he isn't coloring the walls...he isn't coloring anything that is mine...he is coloring his plastic toys, and if I really wanted, I could clean them off with my handy dandy magic eraser that I love dearly. Seriously moms, are they doing anything wrong? I know we have to teach our kids to respect the stuff they have and I wouldn't want him coloring his bed or anything like that...but TOYS...is it that bad? I caught him coloring his one plastic car yesterday and I told him to stop and he said "mama painting." So in his little mind he was painting the car a different color. I do not know what to do. Of course I do not want him to grow up thinking he can "paint" on things, so do I stop it now or do I just let him go? Then what if I let him go then he goes to someones house and does this and gets in trouble. I also do not want his toys to look all jacked up...but then again, who cares if they do?

Why is the choices of how we parent so hard sometimes. I mean, this simple "to color or not to color" is so simple yet so hard?

Just change the freakin' diaper.

2010-06-23T22:00:00.000-04:00

I swear sometimes men think only of themselves. Don't get me wrong, women do this too, but men just seem to do it more often. I am PMS'ing this week really bad and everything is bothering me. This one thing happened tonight that really bothered me and I have to write about it before I go to sleep just to feel better. I do all the housework all day, I even made dinner tonight that was good...and I still had class to go to. Xavier comes in this evening with a poop diaper. I deal with this all day, so I look at Andrew and was like "your turn." He gets all bent out of shape because he is comfy in bed. I am comfy on the couch all day but I do not have the choice, I gotta do what I gotta due. I understand that you worked a lot of overtime this week, and especially today, I understand that you are tired...but I also am tired, I cooked 3 meals today, cleaned the house, took care of the boy, and I still have to go to class...well I was in class when Xavier came in the room. The last thing I want to hear is an attitude about a dirty diaper. You are not the only one that is tired...we both are for different reasons, but its like they don't understand that you can not shut off being a parent. There are times that he will say he can't do something because he is in the middle of something else. HELLO....what do you think I do all day. I have taught myself to prepare lunch, clean up spilled drinks, pick up toys...all while shaking my Martini (I kid.) but seriously, I can do so many things, I do not have to do one thing at a time. Let me take the other day for instance...I asked him to get the boys clothes on while I got dressed and then put his shoes on...he looked at me and said "well I gotta put the dishes in the dishwasher." I just stared at him like "ya so what do that while you are doing the other stuff." What do men think that stay at home moms do all day, sit around and eat bon bons watching soap operas. (do they even still make bonbons) Like seriously, some of the stuff that comes out of a mans mouth makes me speechless and that never happens.

Sooo....ladies....what are some things that your hubbies or others say to you that you just shake your head and walk away because it is soo ridiculous?! I know I am not the only one with stories.

Party Lite orders in tomorrow! Yippee!

2010-06-23T12:20:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning completely wide awake and ready for the day. I came downstairs and I am ready to clean my ~~little~~ big heart out. My goal for today...get the house clean and have dinner waiting for Andrew when he gets home. I know, what the fuck has got into me? Ya, I am wondering the same thing, but I have really been slacking in the whole housewife department so I thought I better get my bootay in gear. One thing that has got me very excited, all my PartyLite orders are going to be here tomorrow. I am so excited, I got $160 in free stuff from just having a party. I can not wait til it gets here, it is going to be like Christmas for this mama. I have so much stuff that I am going to get to set up and play with. I just can not wait til it gets here!

Here are the items that I ordered...once I get them tomorrow and set up I will post pictures of how they look in my house and I will also post reviews of everything. I love Partylite stuff, I have never not liked something that I have got from them.

This is why I had the party....I NEEDED this as soon as I saw it.

Of course to go with it....I had to order the tea light holder....

I have been wanting a picture frame for going up my stairs, when I saw this....It was perfect!

I have been looking for the perfect warmer for flameless candles. I saw this and it was perfect because it uses a bulb to warm the wax, not another candle...which is perfect since I have a crazy toddler and 3 crazy cats.

Isn't that too cute for the house?! I also got tealights and melts for the tea light tree and the warmer! I am going to have so much fun decorating the house tomorrow. I think I am officially old now that I get my kicks on setting up stuff for the house! HA! I'll let everyone know how things are tomorrow!

Martini Mama....where are you?

2010-06-23T00:32:00.000-04:00

Oh it has been a busy few days. Let me start by saying this...if my laptop ever dies I think I am going to die right along with it. Yesterday was the most tramatic day of my life. I go to plug in my iPhone to download the new update for....and my computer goes popup crazy. I don't know how I got a virus...I do not download anything....but I got one. I went into this rage. I thought my world was coming to an end. This is the week of midterms for me, my iPhone needed updated, my crops needed harvested (don't judge)...it was just gone. I freaked out and ended up reformating the whole damn thing. I lost everything that was on it (still is mourning over my loss of CS3) but I came to the adult decision school is more important then anything else so I put on my big girl panties and reformated the whole thing...and now its better then ever and faster then ever so I am happy. I got my iPhone updated around this time last night and I am one happy lady. The only thing that could make me happier is if I had a drink next to me, but I am content.

How is that to start a Monday? Not only that I am PMS'ing like crazy, for no reason all week this rage comes over me...okay I have reasons, but they are not the best of reasons...besides my computer....! I am craving chocolate like a mad women but I refuse to eat it because next week I have another appt with my surgeon and I really need to lose like 2lbs by then. I do not think I blogged about it because I do not want my blog to turn into some gastric bypass blog, but that is what I am going to have done in November...if everything goes as planned. I am excited.

Can you tell my life has been crazy?! I just wanted to check in, I am around...I am trying to be around more now that my computer is back to life. Excuse this week though, midterms are going to kick my ass!

No more Caillou....no more Caillou

2010-06-17T11:45:00.000-04:00

Please please please no more Caillou. I can not take it anymore, it is like a form of torture. We watch Caillou from the time we get up in the morning until we go to sleep. There are only like 6 shows On Demand and all the boy wants to do is watch them over and over. If I tell him "no" or "it's mommies turn" he screams and screams, and I just can not take the screaming so I give in. I do not know what it is with this little Caillou person but it makes the boy so happy to watch and he gets in this trance as he is watching it....and is actually quiet some of the time. I do not know how to break him of this without the screaming, I just can not take the screaming.

Along with the screaming this week I have been getting hanged on all week. I don't want it to sound like I am a horrible mama that hates to have their child on them, because that is the farthest from the truth. I love having him on my lap, but there are times that I just need to be left alone. He will come up to me as I am trying to get classwork finished and just hang from my arm? Seriously? It can not be that fun to hang all over me. By the end of the day I do not want to be touched, then I get into bed or Andrew will come over and rub on me...seriously do not touch me. I just want my space. Then when I tell him I do not want to be touched I do not even want to be cuddled he gets offended. I do not understand how hard it is to understand that I do not want to be touched. When I say "touched" I mean I do not want you within 5 feet of me. I do not know how to explain it any clearer. I understand I am your wife...but please please please LEAVE ME ALONE. If you want to touch me, then take the boy out for about 2 hours, let me have that time to just chill out. I do not get that. NEVER. The only break I ever get is if I run to the store in the evening, but to me that is not a break, when I go to the store I am then dealing with those looney tunes at the store. Foreplay for me is laying on the couch with no child, a martini, and lifetime movie network. This does not involve me sitting here trying to get school work done, cleaning, or anything. It involves me doing NOTHING. If I could have that a few times a week maybe then I would want to be touched. Until then, leave me alone.

I do get a 24 hour break next weekend. My friends and I are having a girls weekend at her cabin. No running water, no electric, and this mama is looking forward to it. The only thing I am not looking forward to is it being hot. I am not a big fan of sweat....but I will deal. If I get a break from the husband and the kid for a day I will take it. The only thing that is not going to make me happy...coming home to a messy house. You know I can never come home to a clean house. So the whole break I am going to think about what I am coming home to...so is it really a break? I swear to goodness this whole mom this is way overrated.

Seriously? no...Seriously?

2010-06-15T13:13:00.000-04:00

I seriously do not know what kind of timing men are on. I really do not understand what goes through their heads and why they pick the times to do things. How do you decide to clean out the closet that has needed to be done as soon as I finish cleaning the living room? (The closet is right next to the living room) Why do you decide to rearrange the bedroom on a day that I say I have a lot of school work to get caught up on? Why do you decide to make dinner and not clean up after yourself? Oh it makes me angry.

Let me start with the dinner. I love that you cooked dinner, it was yummy and it was nice. The thing that spoils the whole dinner...is not cleaning up after yourself when you are finished. Seriously, cleaning up after yourself is like me eating a nice big piece of cheesecake for dessert. It is that satisfying for me. When I get up in the morning and have to go into the kitchen and try to make breakfast for a cranky little boy but first have to clean up from the night before...it makes me cranky. I want to be able to come downstairs, get breakfast and my coffee and sit my fat ass on the couch and watch some TV...or just veg out and try to wake up. That is a good morning for me. NOT waking up and cleaning up. It just spoils my whole day.

Why do you keep saying you are going to clean the closet out and it is a disaster for months and then when I am going to have a get together and have my living room spotless the night before the get together decide to clean out the closet? Seriously!? What makes a man want to do this? I know its not just my husband either. I was talking to my good friend and her husband did the same exact thing? I just do not understand...they see a nice clean space and have to mess it up? Can't it wait til after the get together? Why does it have to be the night before? It is like the next big wonder of the world.

These are just the thoughts that have been going through my mind lately. Some things I can seriously just sit here and think about for hours, and these are just 2 of the things I will think about. Then it pisses me off because I will never know the answers. I can't come out and ask the questions either because then for one...he will not make dinner again...and 2. not clean the closet again. SO...I just have to sit here and wonder. I seriously think men do things just to piss off females. It wouldn't surprise me though, because I admit I do little things that I know get under my husbands skin.

Don't sit there and act like I am the only one that does it. When I know that something little bothers my husband when I get a little pissed off at him for something, I will do it. Just to make him mad. I know he won't say anything about it either. For instance the other day he said something about be running to the store. I know it irks him when he gets in the car and I have left my iPhone charger plugged in...so I will leave it plugged in. Or else I will leave the cassette thingy that lets me play my iPhone music in...! Its just my little "F U" without saying it. Ha. I know I can not be the only one that does little things. I am sure he has his little "F U" to me also, I just haven't figured it out yet. Actually....maybe his little "F U" is not cleaning the kitchen after dinner....hmmmmmm....we will never know!

Lookville.com

2010-06-14T12:09:00.000-04:00

Hey ladies! I was invited to try out an awesome site and I just have to share it with everyone. I am not one to advertise anything on my blog, I want it to be more of a personal blog, but when I find something good, I share...and this is something fun and good. Lookville is a site that I got invited to join and it is where you post pictures of outfits that you might have in your closet that you have questions about what shoes might look good with it, or if you are thinking about buying the outfit what accessories will match. I admit, I have no sense of fashion at all...seriously, it just isn't something in my genes, I couldn't accessorize a black dress. I have about a million weddings and graduation parties coming up this year, so honestly, this site is for me. Of course on my first outfit I posted I had to be a little funny because of my stay at home mom outfits (smile) but I will honestly be using this site for all my clothes questions because there are some really good looking women on this site that look like they know what they are talking about when it comes to fashion. Me, I just know what looks comfy! If an outfit looks comfy, sign me up...ya know? haha. If anyone seriously wants to check this site out for themselves, I have 5 invites and I would love to share them with my readers. Please feel free to either email me your email address or leave it in my comments! I promise you will be addicted to this site as soon as you sign up...I know I was! LOOKVILLE

Cheers!

Saturday Night Homework.... I'm just so wild!

2010-06-12T23:10:00.000-04:00

As I sit here on my second bottle of bottled water catching up on classwork for the week, I thought I would check in and blog. My party went wonderful today. I was so excited that everything turned out good. Everyone had a lot of fun and I think I made a lot of sales. I will know tomorrow how much I can spend, I can not wait because I want to start shopping. I am just happy everyone had fun...I didn't even care about the sales, I just wanted to have my first party at my house.

So I am sitting here on a Saturday night doing homework. I am getting old (lol). I do not mind though because I am sitting here with Andrew and Xavier. Andrew is trying to play the new Mario for Wii as Xavier keeps getting in his way of the TV. It honestly makes me laugh because Andrew is almost 30 and still gets into Mario like a little kid and gets so mad when Xavier gets in front of the TV. I sit here and silently laugh to myself because its like a older brother yelling at a younger brother. Cracks me up!

So I logged onto myspace for the first time in like a year? Well I just wanted to catch up on some friends that do not have a facebook, I looked and this girl that I was friends with lost about 150lbs and looks amazing. I honestly was so jealous I couldn't even message her and see how she was doing! I know that is awful of me and I really shouldn't be jealous...but I am. I am not jealous of her life....obviously because that is so freakin' out of control, but I am jealous of how she looks. I wish I had time to go to the gym all the time. Here is me stuck writing down everything that goes in my mouth for 4 more months until my surgery. I never mentioned this before because there is no way in hell I am turning my blog into a "gastric bypass" blog, but yes, that is what I am having. Maybe one day I will write more about it...of course if anyone has questions or comments about it you can leave them and I will answer them. I just do not want to have a gastric bypass blog. I do not want to be the spokes person for it, I am doing it to get healthy for my family and myself and that is it.

Okay enough about that, I think its much needed time to get back to class work....before I pass out. I had 3 margarita's at my party this afternoon then took a nap when everyone left and woke up at 8pm with a hangover. I never had that happen, a hangover at 8pm at night, but it did and I never want to do that again, it was like a headache from hell. Night bitches!

You know you're getting old when....

2010-06-11T11:51:00.000-04:00

You know you are getting old when things like a new refrigerator gets you all warm and snuggly inside! Since we rent, we had to tell our landlord that we needed a new one, and we got it today, and I am really excited about the whole thing. I got to organize it when they left the way I wanted, its all glass inside...let me show it off. Hahaha.

How exciting is that! Sorry, I just love new things. This is in perfect time for my candle party tonight. My house is finally spotless (except for the bathroom, doing that tonight). We are going grocery shopping tonight and I am still trying to figure out what dessert to make tomorrow. I have not one idea but I better figure it out fast because we are leaving to get groceries once hubby gets home from work. Hmmm....decisions decisions.

This is going to be a short post today, but I will update tomorrow after the party with pix!

Have a fun weekend momma's!

Super Busy Super Momma!

2010-06-10T11:58:00.000-04:00

The worst thing in the world is waking up knowing that you have a full schedule ahead of you. For me it doesn't even involve me leaving the house, but I am still trying to get my house ready for this party on Saturday. From the way I keep going on, ya'll must think my house is a wreck, it really isn't, I just want everything to be perfect. It is really hard. I am trying, it is just hard with a little monster behind me messing things up. Today I have to clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen just a little from yesterday, Andrew is going to do Xavier's room. I think that is pretty much it. I am going to go to the store tonight after he gets home. I need to pick up a few odds and ends and just get out by myself for a little. Then tomorrow morning our new refrigerator gets here...thank goodness. I can not wait for that, then tomorrow night we are going to go grocery shopping. We were going to go grocery shopping tonight, but really...whats the point when we have to take all the stuff out of the fridge, and also the freezer has to freeze and stuff like that. Soooo...we will just do that part of things tomorrow evening. Fine with me. I need to come up with a little dessert for Saturday. I am having just finger foods, I am doing buffalo chicken dip and chips and dip...but I am trying to think of a dessert too. I have no idea what to make. I will be looking online later tonight. If anyone has any fun ideas, leave them, I would love to try something new...and you know I'll post on my blog a picture and how it turns out!

I think I am stressing out and wanting everything perfect because I want everyone to be like "wow she got things under control." Most of my friends are working moms, and I am really the only non working mom right now. Its not that I feel "left out" I just want it to be like "wow..she does do things during the day." hahaha. I think stay at home moms know what I am trying to say.

Well, let me start on things around the house. I want to get lunch out of the way and hopefully get this boy down for a nap later so I can get ready to run to the store when the hubs gets home. I do not want to be too late tonight because I have so much to do. eek. :) I can not wait til Saturday to get here so I can just relax!

Hi, My name is Nikki, and I am a Farmville Addict.

2010-06-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

I have a confession, I am addicted....and I cant stop....My name is Nikki and I have a Farmville Addiction. Yes, I said it, I am a Farmville addict. I need help, but I just can't stop. Gosh, if my crops die, then I lose out on that money, and then I am set back of getting my goal of a 5 million dollar Farmville Mansion when I hit level 70! I knew I had an addiction on Monday when I was watching the live feed about the new iPhone and I was more excited that they announced there was going to be a Farmville app within the next few weeks. I was like iPhone 4...who cares....Farmville push notifications when my crops are ready to be harvested then with a push of the button I can harvest from my phone. I can be in Wal~Mart grocery shopping and if my crops are ready I can harvest...this is like a dream come true! I got so excited last night when I got to pick what career I wanted, I picked having a winery on my farm. Even though I do not know all the details on it, I can not wait until I see what that is all about. I have my winery gnome sitting on my farm waiting.

Look at that beautiful farm!

Hahaha...for real, its not as bad as it might sound. I am not one of those crazy people that supposidly set their alarm to harvest their crops. I am a master farmer and I know what crops to plant when so no crops are ready in the middle of the night. Seriously people....you really do not know how to do that in your head....If its 1pm you do not want to plant crops that are going to be ready in 12 hours...do one that is 16 hours! DUH!

THEN...just when I thought I was going good, I have my Farmville addiction sorta under control...what does Zynga go and do they release a new game today....Frontierville! Seriously people, seriously! As if I don't have one big addiction you go and do another one? I wasn't even going to click on it...but I couldn't fight it, I had to see what it was all about....so I click.....and and and I LOVE IT. Zynga, I am a mom, I cook, clean, and also go to school online...and in between all that I have to remember when my crops are ready, then you go and throw in Frontierville?! There is not enough time in the day for this!

HELP.

Magic Eraser to the rescue!

2010-06-09T12:48:00.000-04:00

I just got on my toddlers level and I think I almost had a heart attack. I am having a Party Lite candle party at my house on Saturday so I am cleaning and making sure my house is 100% clean because this is my first party I am hosting here...ya we have been here 4 years and it is my first party...so what! Anyway, I have been cleaning my fat ass off and I happen to look down at my walls....I couldn't believe what I saw! I should of taken a picture, but I would of been to embarrassed to post it (and I do not get embarrassed.) Anyone with a toddler that has never done this, get on your hands and knees (lol) and crawl on their level and just look at your walls. I had 2 years of dirty hands on my WALLS! There was stuff on my walls that I am sure he ate over a year ago...and I am not joking. I just never noticed it because I am not at his height! I got out my source "magic eraser to the rescue!" That and a bucket of warm water...that Magic Eraser gets anything off...even 2 years worth of crap! I followed it all the way up to this boys room. How gross is that! I can't be too embarrassed because I just never knew that things like that happen! I am learned...sloooowly learning but still learning.

Anyone have cats? Well we have 3, and I am so nervous that when you walk in my house you can "smell" that I have cats...understand? Don't get me wrong, we keep up with our cats and we are clean people (minus our walls) ha. Our one ~~bitch~~ cat gets mad and jealous sometimes and when this happens she likes to pee outside the litter box right on to the carpet. She is my baby girl, and I do know if cats do this something is wrong...we have spent over $1000 on vet bills and every time we take her, nothing is wrong. They have come to the decision it is anxiety. Well, that leaves me with cleaning carpets. Any non cat lover would say "simple, get rid of her" and my husband and I have been over that many of times but we are cat lover and do not have the heart to do this...so I clean and clean when she goes through this. That leaves me to my family...they are NOT cat lovers! (did i stress that enough...I don't think I can) so when I tell them of this problem and what I am going through...I get an ear full. So with everyone coming over to my house on Saturday, I am making sure my house is 100% spotless and cat free. The good thing about our little ~~bitch~~ Prada, she does this where the litter boxes are in the one closet so I can shut that door and no one will ever know it happens...(and believe me I keep cleaning it) I am just so scared someone is going to be able to smell "cat." Anyone else ever go through this? Please tell me I am not alone!

Okay, now that you think my house is a dump (hahaha) I promise its not...as much as I say my house is a mess, and even talk about 2 years of dirty hands on the wall, my house is awesome if I do say so myself! I just don't want people to think otherwise.

Okay....tip for the day..........get on your toddlers level and get out the magic eraser!

I wish they would of told me....

2010-06-08T11:49:00.000-04:00

There are so many things that I wish someone would of sat me down and told me before I became a mom, hell maybe they did and I just said "that will never happen to me." Don't deny it, we have all done it. Well, I wish I would of listened. I think my friends with kids should of taken me to a ~~bar~~ daycare and made me sit there with a bunch of kids in their terrible 2's for a few hours, I would of ran and got my tubes tied right then and there. Seriously, I love my child and I would never change having him for a million dollars, I just wish I was more prepared for the monster that was going to be unlocked when he turned 2.

No one ever told me that I would never ever ever have a 100% clean house again. Why did no one mention this to me. I can clean for hours and hours and my house can be spotless, but then I go into the first room I started in and it looks like I have not touched it. Seriously! I don't know how someone so little can make the mess that he does. I couldn't do it if I tried. He is very talented making it look like mommy has done nothing all day. I give him credit for being talented, I just wish I would of known my house would never look the same again.

No one ever told me I would never have a minute to myself again. I can not even go upstairs and take a poop by myself. Before I had a child my cat Tobie would come in while I went to the bathroom, which was fine I would just throw something at him and he would leave. (lol) I can't just throw something at my son, I have tried, he just thinks I am playing catch with him. *i kid* My secret (and I am sure all momma's have done this at least once) getting a nice big poop attack when their hubby comes home, take up the iphone or a good book, lock the door and "poop" for a hour. Seriously, it has come down to be fake pooping just to get away! How sad is that? Don't act like you have never done it...and if you didn't I am sure you are thinking "that is the worlds best idea." Justs remember to spray something after to make it even more believable! *wink*

No one ever told me I would talk like a toddler...even when I am not with my toddler. I know it has to drive my husband crazy because I will talk to him like a toddler, and I don't even realize I am doing it. Everyone that never had kids is the ones that hated the way Kate Gosselin would talk to her husband, but everyone with kids could relate, because seriously, it just happens. When you are around a toddler all day (and she had 8 kids...God bless her) you learn to talk like them, you reason with them, everything. I long for the days that I would talk to lenders and be screamed at on the phone to get them their settlement statement. Little did I know I had it good back then...at least they were ADULTS!

Anyone wanting to be a "stay at home mom" just come over to my house for a day, I promise you, as much as you love your children, you will keep your day job. It is not as easy as you might think. Look around at your house, and them imagine it 10 times worse because you are home all day. I wish we were out of the house all day, at least it would stay somewhat clean. Then imagine waking up in the morning and craving about 3 shots of vodka to start your day rather then your morning coffee! Oh ya, there are days you want it.

Is it nap time yet?

I wish weekends were 5 days.....

2010-06-06T23:58:00.000-04:00

I am so tired...Andrew and I cleaned this evening, we cleaned the carpets...I am just worn out. Get this, I cleaned all the downstairs carpets...well its just the living room and hallway into the kitchen but its big. The whole time I am cleaning them Andrew was taken and cleaning out the water (which was filthy) and I kept going...but the soap was not going down and I kept thinking to myself "this soap must not be scented." Ya, I get almost all done and realize that I had it on water rinse only! I rinsed the carpet, instead of cleaned the carpets. The good thing is it did suck up the dirt, I could tell because of the water..but I did go over them again. I am now tired and sore, but at least I got all the winter gook out of the carpets. I like to do the carpets every 3-4 months, but I think this time its been around 6 months just because I have been busy, and let me tell you I could tell I haven't done them in awhile.

We went to that party last night. It was fun...no drama, just fun. Thank goodness, because it was well needed. Xavier loved to be able to dance and run around. He actually slept good last night. I just wish the weekends wouldn't go so fast.

My candle party is this coming Saturday. I am so sad because hardly anyone can come. I thought it would be a lot of people wanting to come especially since I am doing Margarita's but I guess not. I understand a lot of people do not like candle parties but I do not expect people to buy I just thought it would be a fun way to get together with people. At least I know my 2 good friends will be here...thank goodness. They are the girls that we do "girls weekend" with every few months. Its soo nice getting away and going to the cabin. Speaking of that, we have a weekend planned coming up in a few weeks, thank goodness! I am counting down to it.

Its so funny, no one ever expects me to be one to go camping and stuff like that, but on that weekend I wear no makeup and just have fun. Drinking and sitting by the first, it is just so relaxing. I am really looking forward to it.

Well, time to get some sleep. Xavier is sitting here playing his DS *i gave him my old one* and all of the sudden he yelled out "damnit" at least I know he didn't get that one from me, because if it was from me he would of yelled out "oh shit!"

Silly (picture) Saturday!

2010-06-05T13:38:00.000-04:00

I really wish I would know what goes through Tobie's mind sometimes!

There is always one or 2 in every family.

2010-06-04T11:05:00.000-04:00

Did you ever have to do something that you really didn't want to do just for your husband or other half? Well, that is what I have to do tomorrow evening. I love Andrews family, I really do...they are all the best and I couldn't ask better people to be family with. Of course, there are always ~~one~~ two people in a family to screw things up for everyone. That is what I am sorta dealing with right now.

To sum it up I used to babysit for my step sister in law (if we were on good terms I would just say sister in law..hehe) anyway things didn't work out, lets just say I learned not to be nice to people because it always turns around to bite me in the ass. Well, she went around telling her side of things and being the classy lady that I am (lmao) I just didn't tell my "side" to anyone. The people close to me know the truth and that is all that is important. I had nothing to prove to anyone else and I just left it go. Well, of course we have that one cousin that likes to be in everyone's business because she doesn't have a life of her own and she had to get involved. Whatever? Well, she posted some comments on my facebook a few weeks ago, and I wrote back, I wasn't rude I just basically said, stay out of things...because seriously there is nothing to start. It was awhile ago when everything happened and its over with, we don't talk to them, they don't talk to us...its fine. Why start some stuff...I think she is just that unhappy with her life. I honestly have come to the conclusion that she doesn't like me because she can not find a man, and I am white and I am married to a black man that takes care of me and our son to the fullest and she is jealous. I am in no way bringing up race like that, but that is my honest feelings. Please do not judge me because I said that, because I am the last person that would say something like that, but that is how I feel, and my husband agrees with me.

Well, to get back to my point, we are going to Andrew's aunties 50th birthday tomorrow and these 2 crazies are going to be there. Of course they are, there is free booze....lol. Anyway, I just do not want to go and deal with it. I know I can ignore, and I also know that I can be a rude bitch if needed, but I do not want to deal with their immaturity. I just don't...its that simple. I am doing it for Andrew though. Like he said, we will go and just have fun with it and not stay long. We can just go and show our faces then leave. I doubt we will just do that though, I just hope nothing is said. I'm over all this. I hate when people have to get into drama and bring stuff that is way over back up...and I can't believe she did that. I have so many mean things I want to say to her, but I just won't because I am not going down to her level, I have other things that I need to put my energy into. I think that is why I just decided to blog about it to get my frustrations out there and I have this outlet.

I am sure part 2 of this story will be posted when I get home tomorrow...ugh...we will see, wish me luck!

Dedicated to the "average" girl....

2010-06-02T15:45:00.001-04:00

This post is dedicated to all the Moms out there that were nothing in high school, did average or lower and always wanted to be one of the popular girls, You know, the girls that had everything that you wish you had, the cute boys, the perfect hair, the perfect grades, and got into the perfect college....you know those girls that I am talking about.

I have been wanting to write this blog post for awhile, but I just didn't know how it would sound, and I didn't know how mean it would come off, but today I just had to do it, and I couldn't hold back anymore.

I love facebook, I admit, half the people that I add from high school I just want to be nosey to see where they are now, and to make fun of who they married and maybe even snicker at the 10lbs they might of put on over the years. The one thing that I really love is to see how they are in their lives and if they are having kids and what they look like. I am not stupid, I know they are doing the same with me. Fair, right?

I was average in school...okay below average, I didn't go to college I went right into the working world. I can not complain though because even though I never went to college I never had a minimum wage job, and I moved up in the field that I was working in and I was making very good money. While I was doing this, those popular girls were at the college of their choice having fun and not even worrying about the real world...they were still in their perfect little world clueless. Us "average" people were finding our true loves, and getting married while these other ones were just graduating college and just getting out on their own, on average I would say they were about 2 years behind in the whole "real life".

Well, now is us "average" girls time to sit back and laugh. Take me and my husband for instance. We got married and we planned for our son, he was about a "year in the making." I was in my job, I took out the right insurance so that I would get extra money for my maternity leave, even though we were planning for me to be a stay at home mom from the beginning. We just were prepared. We had Xavier as planned and I became the stay at home mom...and now it is my turn to be envied.

I sit here laughing on facebook watching these girls talk about "how they can only wish to be stay at home moms" they "need the second income." While us average girls never lived outside our means, we knew deep down we always wanted kids, and we always wanted to be at home with them. We might give up a lot to do so, we might not live in a house we own, we might not go out as much as we would like, and yes, some of our hubbies might even work 2 jobs, but we get that time with our children to watch them grow up. These girls were too busy in their "perfect" little world, having to have the "perfect owned home" before they had kids, have the "perfect family car" and once they ended up having kids they have to have that second income and can not figure out how us "average" girls can stay at home and have the life they only can dream about.

I call it Karma. I wish in high school I would of known this would of ended up happening because I might of actually gave them a few tips in life...okay maybe not. I just want to say, it feels good to finally be the ones that have the "perfect" life for once. I might have the "mommy body" and the messy house, and we might have to sit in on the weekends because we have to save our money more...but it is really nice. I would much rather stay at home raising my children then try to make myself feel good by saying "I sent my kid to day care so they have the interaction with other kids" and try to make us moms that make sure our kids get enough interaction feel bad. I never feel bad, I know my child gets the interaction needed and I know that I would never have to make excuses.

I just want to pay all us "average" girls a pat on the back because we are now the ones to be envied...and you know what....it feels damn good!

Grammar....who needs it! Not this mama!

2010-06-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

I went back to school...why? Please hurry, someone remind me. Not that I didn't already have enough to do during the day being a stay at home mom. For those that are working moms, yes being a stay at home mom is hard and it keeps you nonstop busy...but then this crazy women decides to go back to school! I must have had one too many martini's when I decided this. So last night I have 5 chapters to read and take notes on. This is just for my grammar class. I have not had a grammar class since high school...I was like "wtf is a helping verb" I did not have to know that when making a settlement statement! So of course since I do not remember any parts of sentences I am taking notes out of my ass...trying to remember all this stuff last night. I finally get done with notes and I still had to go to my 2 classes. I figure those will be easy, answer some questions and be done. Oh no, the instructor had questions in the questions for us to answer. I can't complain because that was in the grammar class and I do need all the help that I can get, but after a day of taking care of a toddler, cooking, cleaning, and all that fun stuff I was hella tired. So I did my class work and went upstairs, and got a shower. At this time i remembered that I had forgot to order my meds and I only had one left, so I couldn't take one last night before bed, because I had to save it for this morning because if I didn't take it this morning I would not of been able to function all today. So as I was laying in bed thinking about how bad I needed my meds my head was spinning and I was trying not to puke becuase I had no meds. AHH! Oh ya, and did I mention some crazy biatch was outside screaming saying that 2 people she knew robbed her. OMG...you know me, I had to open the window and listen to that crap. DRAMA. SOOOOOOOOOO.......I finally get to sleep and I have this crazy dream some guy is trying to kill me and all I remember is screaming.

Hubby called me this morning asking me what I was dreaming about because I woke up 3 times screaming at the top of my lungs in my sleep! CrAzY! I am blaming that whole craziness on not having my meds, because those that are on antidepressant/anxiety meds know that you HAVE to have those or you feel soo funky. I can not wait til Andrew gets home today with my medicine. I feel like a crack head. "I just need one pill" haha.

So, I guess this is going to be my life until I get out of school. I am running on fumes and coffee....and the occasional martini!

Can't print in black/white because I do not have color ink....?

2010-06-01T13:11:00.000-04:00

I want to know who in their right mind changed how printers are set up! I have not had a printer in years, I had no need for one...if I wanted pictures printed I just uploaded them and forwarded them to Walgreens and picked them up from there...easy. Well, now that I am in school I needed a printer. I like to print out my syllabus for the courses because I need to be able to write what needs done and when. Andrews dad told us he would get us a printed. I told Andrew that I want nothing fancy, I just want a printer...and if it wasn't too much money a wireless one would be great, but I wasn't picky. Shoot, I honestly didn't even care if it printed in color, I just needed one that printed black and white. Whatever. Well, he comes home from his dads with this professional series printer...I have no idea how to even set up. I honestly do not know how I actually did get it set up. Okay, fine...it copies, prints, faxes, whatever. The scanner on it does come in nice to scan in things and send them off for school...but the printer. Oh geesh, you have to buy each color separately. That means I need to go out and but black ink, blue, pink, and yellow. I can't even find where they sell them together, its like $20 per color. EEK! Okay, thats fine, I never print in color so the color ink will last. WRONG. Andrews dad needs pictures printed. When you buy a printer I guess they only give you starter ink which is like enough to print a few pictures. I go to print my stuff out for school and no color ink left! Nice! So I put it to "only use black ink". It still isnt coming out to where I can read it! By then I am fuming. I have black ink, why the fuck cant I print. So I GOOGLE...yes...I GOOGLE....and what does it say about this printer....I couldn't believe what I was reading. The printer will not print...even just using the black ink if the color inks are empty! WTF is that! I JUST WANNA PRINT STUFF FOR SCHOOL. I did not need a fancy shamcy printer...and I sure as hell am not going out and buying $60 worth of ink that is going to sit in there and not get used and dry up...just so I can use blank ink! It just does not make sense to me? Has anyone heard of such a thing!? Am I not hip enough to use a printer and things have changed so much in the 5 years since I have had a printer, so was it always this way and just never noticed?! I need help people because I seriously now do not know what to do. I guess I am going to have to suck it up and get this ink that I am not even going to use. I am half tempted to go out and just buy a cheap ass printer and kick this other one!