*breath in....breath out.....* I can finally do this. My period was over a week late! Do you know how flipping scared I was this past week! I couldn't even bring myself to blog because I didn't want to blog about being late and everyone think I was pregnant, and then it get back to my family. I knew deep down there was no way I was pregnant, but let me tell you, when that period doesn't come, you start to second guess yourself, and that is just what I was doing. I was seriously panicking, and when that happens, it messes with you even more. Wow. All I can say is I am not complaining how bad my cramps are, how heavy it is, and how I feel like dying.
I got so drunk Saturday night. I warned Andrew from the beginning that he was going to have to take care of the boy when we went to my families cook out. I told him this was the last 4th of July for me to get wasted, and I was going to get wasted. I promised myself I was not going to puke...ya by the end of the night I was puking in my aunts bathroom. How much of a loser did I feel like? 27 and in my aunts bathroom puking my brains out. Then when I got home all I remember is sticking my finger down my throat. The only good thing is, that I did puke because the next day I just had the headache. I slept all day. It was bad. Never again. I am too old for that crap. Life is too short to waste a day in bed....but it felt soo good to do it. Trump vodka....never again...you mean mean man you!
I had my 3rd weigh in today. I am very excited that I am half way there. I am thinking about turning part of this blog into my weight loss blog...I wasn't going to, I really wasn't going to do it...but it is a part of me. I figure if I can help someone else out that may be going through the same thing as me, or considering it, or that has already done it....I would love to get feed back, so I'm really considering it. The one thing I do not want to do is put my starting weight...at least not until I get the surgery. I am embarrassed that I let myself get this heavy. When I was in high school and was 180lbs I really felt like I was huge...now I long to be that weight, and when I get back to that weight I am going to be so happy. My goal weight for myself is 130lbs, and I am going to get there...that is the promise I made to myself. I want to be healthy, and I also want to get into a tankini and feel comfortable! I will do it!