Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ladies, Please tell me if I am being selfish...

I need to have some help on something. I need words of stay at home moms to help me out. Please, because right now I feel like a horrible selfish person, and I don't know if I really should feel this way.

My husband and I were sitting here talking about money. I told him please do not spend anything until his next payday just to keep us with a cushion in our account. He mentioned to me that I should stop going out for my evening drive at night because that will save gas.

I am not sure if any other momma does this, but when my husband gets home and things are slow at the house I sneak out and go for a drive. It is just to our local Walgreens and back. I do not even get out of the car. I just blast my music and drive. It maybe takes me 20 minutes in total but that is MY TIME! It is the only time I look forward to all day to clear my head of the "mommy this" and "mommy that" which I hear all day. I sometimes want to scream because I am stuck at home 5 days a week. People wouldn't understand, they think being a stay at home mom is lovely. Sitting at home all day, but it is really the hardest thing in the world to me. 

Anyway, back to my question. I was sitting here talking to my husband as he was telling me that I should stop taking my evening drive because it does waste gas. I told him that I sacrifice that extra gas which probably adds up for a few extra dollars a week for the "me" time. He told me that that "it's weird you tell me not to spend money but then you do that everyday." Seriously? I told him that is not what I mean. Am I wrong for this? Is this selfish of me? He gets going to work and coming home everyday to clear his head. I ask for 20 minutes a day to do this and I get looked at like I am out spending money when he isn't. I do not even look at my 20 minute drive as spending money. Yes, it uses gas, I am aware of that. If we were really tight with gas money I obviously wouldn't go. 
What would you say if your husband said this to you? Would you get mad and feel bad? I have to go out later to get garbage bags that I forgot to pick up at the store yesterday. I now feel guilty doing this. I just want to crawl up in bed. I am so annoyed and upset right now. 

Ladies...I need advice!


Shell said...

You need to have some "me time" or you will go crazy. I say don't give up the drive.

Laura! said...

I think your drives are important!! You need that me time too! Marc doesn't understand either. He doesn't get that he gets to leave his job and go home at the end of the day. I don't get to do that! I don't think there is anything wrong with your drive financially. It comes down to more like ok, don't buy and cds until payday and I won't buy any either. that kind of extra spending. I don't budget gas in this house. if I need to get out and run an errand kid free, I'm gonna do it.

Crystal said...

I tell you what, I am not a stay at home mom, I work all day and I LOVE the time I have with my children at dinner, bath, & bedtime! But I totally think you are entitled to that 20 minutes of me time a night. That's the least you should get! Being a stay at home mom can't be easy. Sometimes after bath I need a break cause it's mommy mommy mommy and I take off for a 10 minute walk up to CVS, if it's not too late- or I would drive!

Martini Mama said...

Thank you ladies...I have a blog coming soon about the out come of this! ;)

Susie B. Homemaker said...

As a stay at home mom I can definitely relate. You need that 'me time' for your sanity. The gas really isn't costing that much, but you could always compromise- go out for your 20 mins. but don't actually drive that far.

Just go a short distance up the road and park some where and listen to music. Or even cut down to a couple days a week of driving but still take your me time in the house while he watches the kid.