I am too old for a hangover...

*breath in....breath out.....* I can finally do this. My period was over a week late! Do you know how flipping scared I was this past week! I couldn't even bring myself to blog because I didn't want to blog about being late and everyone think I was pregnant, and then it get back to my family. I knew deep down there was no way I was pregnant, but let me tell you, when that period doesn't come, you start to second guess yourself, and that is just what I was doing. I was seriously panicking, and when that happens, it messes with you even more. Wow. All I can say is I am not complaining how bad my cramps are, how heavy it is, and how I feel like dying.

I got so drunk Saturday night. I warned Andrew from the beginning that he was going to have to take care of the boy when we went to my families cook out. I told him this was the last 4th of July for me to get wasted, and I was going to get wasted. I promised myself I was not going to puke...ya by the end of the night I was puking in my aunts bathroom. How much of a loser did I feel like? 27 and in my aunts bathroom puking my brains out. Then when I got home all I remember is sticking my finger down my throat. The only good thing is, that I did puke because the next day I just had the headache. I slept all day. It was bad. Never again. I am too old for that crap. Life is too short to waste a day in bed....but it felt soo good to do it. Trump vodka....never again...you mean mean man you!

I had my 3rd weigh in today. I am very excited that I am half way there. I am thinking about turning part of this blog into my weight loss blog...I wasn't going to, I really wasn't going to do it...but it is a part of me. I figure if I can help someone else out that may be going through the same thing as me, or considering it, or that has already done it....I would love to get feed back, so I'm really considering it. The one thing I do not want to do is put my starting weight...at least not until I get the surgery. I am embarrassed that I let myself get this heavy. When I was in high school and was 180lbs I really felt like I was huge...now I long to be that weight, and when I get back to that weight I am going to be so happy. My goal weight for myself is 130lbs, and I am going to get there...that is the promise I made to myself. I want to be healthy, and I also want to get into a tankini and feel comfortable! I will do it!

Grammar....who needs it! Not this mama!

I went back to school...why? Please hurry, someone remind me. Not that I didn't already have enough to do during the day being a stay at home mom. For those that are working moms, yes being a stay at home mom is hard and it keeps you nonstop busy...but then this crazy women decides to go back to school! I must have had one too many martini's when I decided this. So last night I have 5 chapters to read and take notes on. This is just for my grammar class. I have not had a grammar class since high school...I was like "wtf is a helping verb" I did not have to know that when making a settlement statement! So of course since I do not remember any parts of sentences I am taking notes out of my ass...trying to remember all this stuff last night. I finally get done with notes and I still had to go to my 2 classes. I figure those will be easy, answer some questions and be done. Oh no, the instructor had questions in the questions for us to answer. I can't complain because that was in the grammar class and I do need all the help that I can get, but after a day of taking care of a toddler, cooking, cleaning, and all that fun stuff I was hella tired. So I did my class work and went upstairs, and got a shower. At this time i remembered that I had forgot to order my meds and I only had one left, so I couldn't take one last night before bed, because I had to save it for this morning because if I didn't take it this morning I would not of been able to function all today. So as I was laying in bed thinking about how bad I needed my meds my head was spinning and I was trying not to puke becuase I had no meds. AHH! Oh ya, and did I mention some crazy biatch was outside screaming saying that 2 people she knew robbed her. OMG...you know me, I had to open the window and listen to that crap. DRAMA. SOOOOOOOOOO.......I finally get to sleep and I have this crazy dream some guy is trying to kill me and all I remember is screaming.

Hubby called me this morning asking me what I was dreaming about because I woke up 3 times screaming at the top of my lungs in my sleep! CrAzY! I am blaming that whole craziness on not having my meds, because those that are on antidepressant/anxiety meds know that you HAVE to have those or you feel soo funky. I can not wait til Andrew gets home today with my medicine. I feel like a crack head. "I just need one pill" haha.

So, I guess this is going to be my life until I get out of school. I am running on fumes and coffee....and the occasional martini!

Learn how to pick your battles, please.

I love my husband with my whole heart, but there are some things with a toddler that he needs to learn. The main thing he has to learn with Xavier is to learn to pick his battles. There are many things that I can ignore during the day that Xavier does. Just little stuff, I can't even think of the things right now. Just things that I do not tell him "no" about because he isn't hurting himself or me...and he is occupied doing. I just do not have the energy to tell him "no" all the time, it honestly gives me a headache repeating myself. Well, when Andrew gets home he doesn't know how to pick what battles with Xavier are the ones to fight. I don't want to say he yells all the time, because that is not the case, but he is ALWAYS correcting Xavier. Then I have to listen to Xavier cry all evening. I try to explain to Andrew, "pick your battles" you do not want to correct him on everything, if he isn't hurting you or him, just leave it go, that way you are not making him cry all the time. I do not want to hear it, you do not want to hear it....leave it be. I just wish men had a little more patience. I have learned to have patience, if I didn't learn this I would be in the psycho ward banging my head against the padded wall right now. (seriously)

Xavier is going to grandma and grandpa's for the night tomorrow and mommy and daddy get the day/night to ourselves. I have no idea what we are going to do besides go out to dinner. I just want to hear a quiet house, and I can not wait for it. Just to be able to lay on the couch and not have to worry what the lil'one is doing, omg...heaven. I think every parent needs that now and then, and tomorrow is much much needed for us. I am getting the rest of my school work done for the week tonight, and then I am free until Sunday! So excited.

Time to go watch some Wubzy. Taking the boy to get his haircut later and get some summer clothes...this should be fun, I just hope he is in a good mood, and I hope he naps soon so mama can get ready. Im craving a beer already and its only 1130am. Lovely.

It's never too early for Vodka.

Oh it is that kind of morning. It is only 11am and I have already been touched to much for the day. I have been cuddled on, hanged on, climbed on, spilled juice on, I have just had it. Do not get me wrong, I love cuddling with Xavier, it is the best in the world, but when you are touched too much it gets old really fast. My husband comes home and sometimes wonders why I do not even want to hug him, it is because I am touched all day. I just want my personal space. Not only do I get touched all day, I get told "no" all day, I have to toddler talk all day, it is really hard. I just want to scream by the end of the day. I love home women that are not stay at home moms always think that it is really easy to stay at home all day and say how much they would love it. Please, try it for a month. At first it is nice, but when you have a toddler in the house, your house is never clean, toys are constantly being pulled out and your head is spinning all day. Just when you think you get to sit down to do nothing, something else happens or needs done at that very moment. It is honestly the hardest job in the world. Then silly me puts school work on top of that, seriously what was I thinking?

I do not want people to think I am blogging for a pitty party, I am just blogging to stay somewhat sane. I have lost my mind a few times here and there, the one day the windows were wide open and Xavier just wouldn't listen at all that day, I just looked at him at one point and screamed at the top of my lungs. The boy just looked at me like I had lost it, and since my neighbors are all our relatives, I am sure they are thought "she has finally lost it". Ha. I thought for that minute I had lost it to, but I actually felt better, I just screamed then went back to what I was doing. Felt damn good. You should try it, I recommend it.

I woke up this morning to a tweet about Yo Gabba Gabba Live coming to Pittsburgh. I can not wait for this, tickets go on sale next week for a September 30th show. I think I am more excited then anything else. I just hope we can get tickets because seriously, I know this is going to sell out fast...hella fast. I am going to be with the crazy moms trying to get their child up close to see this. Actually they will be trying, I WILL get Xavier up close! (lol)

Okay my child will not stop screaming, I am about to spike my morning coffee, I seriously need a drink. Its 5 o-clock somewhere right?