This stay at home mom gig...sooo not what I applied for!

I have learned today that I am the worlds most unorganized mother on the planet. I seriously have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I am doing. I can not keep up with my messy house, I can not find time to do school work, I have no time for anything and I do not get anything accomplished all day. Really? I thought this Stay at Home Mom gig was supposed to be a breeze. I always imagined sitting in a clean house all day playing with my toddler, then having dinner on the table when my husband came home. Ummm...I never cook. I hate cooking, every time I attempt a new recipe my husband doesn't like it because I swear he hates to try anything new. I really suck at this whole thing. I don't want to say at being a wife or mom, because I am pretty darn good at those things. It is just the life part of things and managing time and ahhh....where does anyone find time to do anything? 

I mopped my kitchen floor today while the boy was napping. I seriously felt like I should get a reward because it was such a chore. What did I get for it? A bruise on my ass from falling in a wet spot! Lovely. Where is my paycheck or reward? I think if I got a paycheck every week I might be motivated on doing something. Okay, maybe not...but hey it would be a nice reward. 

The hubby is working overtime all week and even on Saturday. So I feel like when he comes home he should have dinner ready and come home to a clean semi-clean house. I just don't want him to get used to it, because this is hard. I don't want to get his expectations too high of me when we both know this is not going to last. Does that sound bad? I mean I am just telling the truth! 

This stay at home mom thing is not what I applied for!

Monday Rant

I just love Mondays...waking up and coming downstairs to the kitchen a mess from the weekend, the living room a disaster...and me left alone with the child. Hmmm...I wonder who is to clean up the mess from the weekend? You guessed it! ME! I never thought in a million years being a stay at home mom would be like this. I guess I shouldn't complain, it is my job. I just wish for a few days my lovely hubby would have to switch roles with me. I think once he saw staying at home all day is not all peaches and cream that he thinks it is. I have a major case of PMS, which involved me waking up this morning with a little man inside my head drilling on the left side of my head trying to get out....yes you guessed it a headache from hell. As I sit here drinking my coffee hoping that something takes this pain away, I know I could be cleaning the living room...but I deserve a break too? Right?

The first weekend of Oct. is MOMMIES WEEKEND! 3 of us are going up to my friends cabin...let me remind you, this cabin has no running water or electric....but it is soo fun to go up and just chill out for the weekend...away from MEN! We are leaving that Friday night and we will be home Sunday afternoon. Saturday we are going to Fall Foliage which is like a big craft show in the county we go to. It is so nice. Then we go to the local bar and eat wings and drink our brains out and go back to the cabin and continue the drinking. There is a lot of male bashing and venting also, which is much needed. We do this every year and I look forward to it every year. I am counting the days. I wonder if when I get home the house will be clean? HAHAHAHA....what a joke that was! lmao!

Mommy Meltdowns.

Is it wrong to sometimes want to bang your head against the wall when your child is having a melt down? I seriously am to that point with my son today. It's not that he is getting on my nerves, it is just the screaming and carrying on for no reason. I understand he missing daddy, but he is too young to understand that daddy needs to go to work to make the money.

My son is at the age where he says he wants something...which I thought would be the best thing to happen. This morning he told me he wanted eggs and toast. He even helped me scramble the eggs in the bowl....made him toast...everything was going wonderful. Well until I brought out the eggs and toast to him and he looked at it and said "that's yuckie, I don't want that!" I honestly wanted to dump those eggs on his head but instead of doing that I said "well that is breakfast...enjoy." I am not starting the whole I keep making things til he eats crap. I put the food down, and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat it...he has to learn. He now is eating the toast. I asked him what he wanted to lunch and he ran over and grabbed the toast...whatever. If he wants to eat that, fine with me. (Don't worry I will make him a lunch)

He also is starting the new thing, when I sit down to do something...anything...from school work, blogging, reading the mail...anything he runs over and needs to be on my lap at that moment. I am to the point I can not get anything done during the day. If I try to move him he will scream. I will let him scream and ignore him but there are some times that I just don't want to hear it. Seriously, a mom can only take so much during the day.

Then when my husband gets home and sees that the living room is a mess and it looks like I did nothing all day how does one explain "I listened to your son scream all day and now that has worn me out." Listening to a toddler all day can wear someone out just as much as running a marathon....if someone doesn't agree with that come to my house for a day, I bet you leave tired.

Oh I can't wait to get back into the working world....

"Parents need to control their kids"

Yesterday I got into a tweet argument that I knew I had to turn into a blog post because I was outraged yesterday. I actually wanted to post this blog as soon as it happened but I know it would not come out nice since I was heated. (lol)

I was going through my tweets yesterday and a friend of mine from my High School days retweeted this...

AMEN!!! ---> “@Dxxxxxx82: Dear parents of screaming kids: CONTROL THEM! There are other god d**m shoppers you know! That's all


I don't even know where to start with this one...oh wait...yes I do! I would like for someone to explain to me "how to control my child." My child has a mind of his own, I can not CONTROL him. I am lucky my child does not scream in the store. Yes, we have had our melt downs, and I personally will let him sit in the cart and scream his little head off if he wants a toy that he is not getting. If I would "remove him from the situation" then he would learn to scream and cry whenever he didn't get his way, or scream and cry if he wanted to leave the store and I was not ready. Personally, if you are grocery shopping and you do not have a child and you hear someones child screaming and you don't like it...Leave. It is that simple. Just because we have a child with us that is making noise that YOU do not like, why should we have to leave. Us parents have things to get done too...!

I admit, when I was younger and didn't have children I said it all..."there should be stores that babies aren't aloud to be in" you name it I said it. Now that I have a child, all those thoughts have left my mind. Now when I hear a screaming child I feel for that parent. Do you think us parents love to hear our child scream and disrupt the whole store as we are trying to shop? Hell no! We have to deal with the stares and everything else rude people might do...but what would you like me to do...go to the duct tape department and put some over my child's mouth to CONTROL THEM? (seriously at one point or another us parents have thought about it...believe me) Us parents that have had the screaming child do not get a kick out of it or make our child scream just to ruin your day. Put yourself in our situations.

Next time you non-parents hear a screaming child in a store put yourself in that parents situation....pretend it is the only time that week you are able to go get groceries...you run to the store and your child wants to leave, but you HAVE to get things....he/she is screaming, you can't leave the store until you get what you need...how would you feel? Exactly.

Maybe next time you hear a screaming kid in a store and you want to get upset, take a deep breath and just think....what if that was me as a parent...someday it just might be! Be mature about it, actually use your head and think....it just might change your mind!

"Shut-Up"

If I had to pick one word that I thought was the worst word in the world it would have to be "shut-up." I hate it, I can not stand when someone says it to me and I can not stand saying it to someone else. I promised myself when I had a child I would not be one of those parents that said this to their kids. Why? It is simple, I do not what my kid to turn around and say it to me. I honestly can't stand the word. When it comes out of someones mouth it just seems to negative. I would rather hear a cuss word rather then "shut-up."
I have caught Andrew twice telling Xavier to "shut up" and I got on him about it each time. I told him my reasoning and Andrew agreed but he was just caught up in the moment and it came out. I still told Andrew that was not a good excuse and to please watch it....well.....!

Last night there were kids outside screaming, at first it sounded like there was a big fight outside so I went over to the window and opened it to "be nosey." I kept telling Xavier to be quiet over and over again because it seemed like as soon as I opened the window to listen to make sure nothing was wrong outside he got louder and louder. Well he screamed one more time and I turned around and it came out...." shhuuut-up xavier!" As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back, I wanted to rewind time and take it back. The one thing I promised I would never say to my child just came out of my mouth. I didn't take it back right away, I wanted to crawl into a hole and bury myself forever. I finally figured out it was just kids being kids outside and I sat back down on the couch and just thought about what I said. Andrew didn't say anything about it, but I know he wanted to, because I was the one that always got on him for "the word."

I sat there for a good half hour just thinking about it and not saying anything. Finally I called Xavier over and told him momma was sorry for telling him to "shut up" and that it is not a word I like and I did not mean to tell him this. I told him it is not a nice word blah blah blah. I got done explaining this to him and I said "do you understand" and he turned around and said "okay" and went on back to playing with his toy kitchen.

I feel better that I apologized to Xavier, even though he probably doesn't fully understand what I said. I still wish that I could take back that moment. I guess that is a mommy moment that I learned from...and something that I will never forget.

I love my new Pink HP Netbook!

Like my new netbook? I am on love, thanks to my wonderful husband! I think he honestly got tired of me bitching about how much I hated my Sony Vaio laptop. I would never suggest a Sony laptop to anyone. I had mine for 2 years, which I do not think is a long time at all for something you pay close to $1000 for. Anyway, the thing would just shut off whenever it felt like it, the keys were falling off...it was a mess. The other night topped it off when I was just about done with my homework assignment for the week in the class I am having trouble with. Of course I didn't think to save every now and then, and then I went to save before I proofed it and BANG shut down....lost it all. That topped it off. I was done right then and there. I still do not feel like redoing the damn paper, but I have to by Sunday night. It will get done, I am juts annoyed.

My child is in this mood today, if I tell him anything or say anything to him he screams, falls to the floor and pounds his fists. I just want to say "I give up" and do the same thing he is doing but then I remember I am the adult in the situation and just have to ignore him. I would love to fall to the floor and pound my fists and cry and scream. Actually wait, I did it the other night when my computer shut off! HA! Seriously though, I am just ignoring him today. This morning he got mad at me, honestly I do not even know what for so he took his big huge bouncy ball and threw it at me in anger so I put my hand up and it knocked back to him and hit him in the head. It was honestly so funny but being the adult again I couldn't laugh but he was so mad at me. He fell to the floor and turned all red screaming. HA. One up for mommy!

When Andrew gets home I have to run to the store and get PJ's for my sleep test tomorrow. I need something with shorts or capri's and the shirt has to be button down. So, I am on a mission tonight to find it. Usually Joe Boxer Brand at K-Mart has nice plus sizes that I know fit around my boobs, so I am just going there first. I hope I have luck because I really do not feel like spending my evening trying to find something to wear for a few hours while people watch me sleep!

Time for me to go, I am going to try to get some school work done before my lovely hubby gets home. I really do miss him, I am so excited that it is Friday, it just really sux that I miss a whole Saturday night without him...the weekends are the time I look forward to being with him for 2 days straight and of course I have to get this test done. Oh well.