This mama is back!

First I would like to apologize to my readers for just up and disappearing. I feel bad, but if you follow me on my weight loss blog "Fat Girl File" you will know where I went. If not, I will update everyone now!

I have mentioned in the past I was working on my 6 month journey to get Gastric Bypass surgery. Well, that is where I went. The past month or so have been crazy.I have been going to doctors appointments and getting tests done before surgery and then submitting to insurance to get the surgery approved. Let me tell you, this past month has been filled with many many many mixed emotions. Well, I had surgery on November 1st, and I am doing wonderful. I was on a liquid sugar free diet for the first 10 days, and let me tell you I was one miserable bitch. For those that do not understand this surgery, they made my stomach the size of the top of your thumb. I do not feel hunger either...so I am losing weight. Believe me, I didn't rush into this, this is life changing for me since this is now my life. I didn't do this just to be a skinny hot mama, I did this because I started having health effects from my weight. I had so many steps and am still learning, but wow do I feel better. I am already down over 20 lbs and my energy level is sky rocketing. Not only my energy level, but my sex drive is back in full force too! I do not know where it came from but my husband is one happy man! haha.

I go into greater detail on my other blog, so feel free to follow me over there, I want this blog to be my mommy blog and I do not want it to be over come with my weight story too. I would much rather blog about mommying and bitching over here. It is just more fun!

I just wanted to say that I didn't forget about this site...I love my blog and will continue to grow. I will be updating a lot more now that I am fully back and finally getting myself organized!

i will not call the insurance company....

I am using my "I will not call the insurance company to see if I am approved for surgery" as a tool to get my house in order. I refuse to call them today...even though I am trying to find every excuse to call them...HA...so  I am cleaning. Cleaning like a mad women to keep my mind off things. I am just going crazy. 

I am seriously completely behind on school work because my mind is just not in it, it is totally in "will I be approved for surgery?" I haven't finished LAST weeks notes, let alone start this weeks...I haven't been into class at all, and I haven't even looked at what assignments are due and when! How bad is that? I know everyone is that is reading this probably thinks I am crazy for letting myself get this overcome with fears that I am going to be denied for surgery, but I just can't help it. I worked so hard for all this and I just want it that bad. 

I go for my pre-op appointment on Friday. I am excited...the only thing I am not exciting about is driving there by myself. I hate the location of the hospital I am going to be in, and this is going to be the first time I drive near there completely by myself (of course with Xavier in the car...which makes me even more nervous.) I just want to hear "approved" so I can get on with my life. 

I totally want to be able to relax this weekend because next weekend would be the weekend before surgery and there is no way I am doing any relaxing then. I just hope I hear something soon....really soon....before they have to commit me...then I am sure they won't approve me! AHHHH......! 

Okay, Let me get on with this cleaning and hopefully I will hear something...or else I am going to have the cleanest house in the world....and that will not be a bad thing!

I can make a CPAP sexxxy!

I hope everyone had a fab weekend! I had a decent weekend. Friday night me and the boy spent the night at my mom and dads. The hubby had to work overtime Saturday morning so I needed out of this house before I screamed. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house.

Saturday night was interesting. A few weeks ago I went for a sleep apnea test. I swore up and down that I didn't have it, well I have severe sleep apnea. (If you want to read more about that you can click here) Well, I had to go get fitted for my sleep apnea mask and spend the night to get my oxygen numbers that I will have to use when I sleep. Yea, you know the mask some people have to sleep with, ya that is what this hot mama has to wear. I told my husband I am the only one that is going to make this CPAP sexxxy. How true is that! Too bad they didn't come in pink? It is okay though, it is all for my gastric bypass. Hopefully after my surgery I won't have to wear it once I lose this weight. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday is my big day that I hopefully get my surgery date. I know, I said I would not turn this blog into my outlet...but I also have to mention it on here too since this is what is going on in my life.

On another note (to change the subject) I got all my homework turned in early today and got to spend a Sunday comfortable and lazy around the house without having to worry about school work. Of course I had to worry about a toddler begging for attention (lol) but I am used to that. I would much rather play with a toddler than sitting here doing school assignments....well sometimes.

I am too old for a hangover...

*breath in....breath out.....* I can finally do this. My period was over a week late! Do you know how flipping scared I was this past week! I couldn't even bring myself to blog because I didn't want to blog about being late and everyone think I was pregnant, and then it get back to my family. I knew deep down there was no way I was pregnant, but let me tell you, when that period doesn't come, you start to second guess yourself, and that is just what I was doing. I was seriously panicking, and when that happens, it messes with you even more. Wow. All I can say is I am not complaining how bad my cramps are, how heavy it is, and how I feel like dying.

I got so drunk Saturday night. I warned Andrew from the beginning that he was going to have to take care of the boy when we went to my families cook out. I told him this was the last 4th of July for me to get wasted, and I was going to get wasted. I promised myself I was not going to puke...ya by the end of the night I was puking in my aunts bathroom. How much of a loser did I feel like? 27 and in my aunts bathroom puking my brains out. Then when I got home all I remember is sticking my finger down my throat. The only good thing is, that I did puke because the next day I just had the headache. I slept all day. It was bad. Never again. I am too old for that crap. Life is too short to waste a day in bed....but it felt soo good to do it. Trump vodka....never again...you mean mean man you!

I had my 3rd weigh in today. I am very excited that I am half way there. I am thinking about turning part of this blog into my weight loss blog...I wasn't going to, I really wasn't going to do it...but it is a part of me. I figure if I can help someone else out that may be going through the same thing as me, or considering it, or that has already done it....I would love to get feed back, so I'm really considering it. The one thing I do not want to do is put my starting weight...at least not until I get the surgery. I am embarrassed that I let myself get this heavy. When I was in high school and was 180lbs I really felt like I was huge...now I long to be that weight, and when I get back to that weight I am going to be so happy. My goal weight for myself is 130lbs, and I am going to get there...that is the promise I made to myself. I want to be healthy, and I also want to get into a tankini and feel comfortable! I will do it!

I said this wouldn't turn into a Gastric Bypass Prep blog... but its my life!

I have no updated in a few days. Life got ahead of me this week. I have been super busy with school and I also had another appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday. This whole 6 month prep for my surgery is going super duper fast and I am actually starting to get a bit nervous. I made my appointment for my sleep apnea test, which is Saturday July 24th. This is totally going to be an experience! Seriously people watching me sleep all night? Oh geesh, I have to remember not to eat anything that is going to give me gas! Im going to be squeezing all the gas outta me on my way there, the last thing I want to do is let them out while I am sleep and not know. I would rather be awake and know that I am doing it! HA! The first thing I asked "Can I bring my iPhone?" Seriously, I don't think I could get through the night without it, thank goodness they told me yes! I was like "I won't be calling people, I just need to have contact with the outside world." The lady on the other end was cracking up at me, little does she know I am like that all the time. I am just goofy all the time, so this is going to be an experience. They asked me what time I usually go to bed, I told them around 2am...HA. She was like "oh wow." I was like "don't worry, its only cause I have a toddler and I am up doing school work, without him Ill probably be sleep on the way." Seriously, a whole night away from both boys...hell ya this is like a vacation! I am sure my hubby is thinking the same thing...!

About my appointment on Wednesday, it went really good. They weighed me at first, I didn't gain or lose which I guess is good. Then they looked at my food journal. They told me what I was doing wrong, then what I can do to change it. Seriously this whole 6 month prep for gastric bypass is wonderful. I have been learning so much about the way of eating. I eat totally wrong, at least I did...and of course sometimes still do. They are teaching me so much stuff I can not wait for the surgery and start my "life over" if that makes sense. I have my next appointment there on Sept 22nd, and they told me I will probably be able to get a date for my surgery then! How exciting is that! I am nervous, but excited at the same time. It is going to be around November...so then I got to thinking, last year was my last Thanksgiving! This year I will be on a liquid diet for Thanksgiving! I just got to keep thinking "skinny is better then turkey." Who the fuck am I fooling....not myself! haha!

Thank goodness its Friday! TaTa!